The Rules of Acquisition: A Star Trek Deep Space Nine Podcast
Emmisary (DS9 S1E01)

Emmisary (DS9 S1E01)

October 3, 2019

Don't trust linear time! It's all just one eternal moment to the prophets, and here we are back at the beginning.  Welcome to the Rules of Acquisition remix.  It's the same ROA that you may know, but this time we're giving you some additional commentary on how it feels to travel back in time and listen to versions of ourselves from those before-times, back when our innocence was still intact.  In this episode Hugh will fill you in on how this works. 

Welcome to The Rules of Acquisition! A podcast where we’ll be reviewing every. single. episode. of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Heres... THE BEGININAGING
Who are we? What are our histories with DS9? And most importantly-Why are we doing this?
All these questions and more will be answered. 

Plus: Linear time, and don't trust Picard with your loved ones.

[*NOTE: Tried a little more fixin this version, but the sound here is of three guys just figuring out how to record this podcast thing. But, hey the content is still great! There have been mics that come and go and we sound a bit different as time goes on. Go figure.]

Kickers of Elves Roundtable: TNG’s Sub Rosa

Kickers of Elves Roundtable: TNG’s Sub Rosa

September 25, 2019

A change in format!  Hugh talked to listeners about the sexiest of Scottish Ghost Candle Stories, Star Trek: The Next Generations "Sub Rosa"

Want in on next month's roundtable discussion?  Go to for more info!

Catching You Up on Voicemails

Catching You Up on Voicemails

September 18, 2019

Voicemails?! Remember those?  So do we!

What has happened since last we updated? How have our lives changed forever since we finished watching every episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? 

What else is in store from Kickers of Elves on the RoA feed?   Hugh has some deets. What is The RoA Remix?  What is this about these TNG roundtables? 

Is this the end voicemails?  No!

First Ben from the UK has a bone to pick with us on the episode “Valiant.” 

Jeffrey from Virginia (The Guy Who Hates Worf) has some valuable insights on Starfleet’s approach to counseling.

Eric from PA (@Aerialbass) isn’t here to tell James to get his head right, but … he does have some things to say about our Season 6. 

Warren from Seattle (@10rant) finally turns on Bashir. 

Jackie from New Orleans is also an expert, on a topic some of us may have gotten wrong in “Times Orphan.” 

Kennedy from NY has some thoughts on Section 31.  Our favorite subject to rehash over and over.  How far is too far with the dark pragmatism for us? 

Didn’t hear your voicemail?  Don’t worry, we’re not done!  We have more to do, and as long as you send em in, we’ll keep responding to them.   

A Quick Message from Wade

A Quick Message from Wade

August 14, 2019

What is going on with the podcast this week?  Your questions will be answered!

Patrons can hear us talk Tarantino:

And check out the unlocked Dune podcast at the Hashish and Superiority Book Club:

Themes and Stories: A Look Back on DS9 and The Rules of Acquisition

Themes and Stories: A Look Back on DS9 and The Rules of Acquisition

August 7, 2019

We’ve gone through every. single. episode. of Deep Space Nine. Now what? 

Where’s the White Album for Season 7? 

We go into details and reflect on the thesis of the podcast and where we ended up with that.

Wade did a White(ish) Album, and tried to pull a “How would we fix it,” all the way from the begining of the pod to fix the ending. 

What is Star Trek DS9 actually about?  TNG vs DS9:  What is the “best” Star Trek that holds up overall?  Would we have different conclusions if we went through other Star Treks the same way we did this one? 

How have we changed since the start?  What kind of arc and journey have we gone on? 

Who is the creative villain of the show for the podcast?  The MVP?  How right were the actor’s instincts when compared to the writers? 

So what about the “faith” the show was concerned with representing? 

Ranking the writers.  How bout that Robert Hewitt Wolf?   Trainspotting: God, what a movie.   

What have we learned. 

Looking back on Past Tense and the power of stories post 2016.

Lots of talking about storytelling in this one.   

Go to

or especially for more content while Wade gets used to being a dad.


What You Leave Behind (DS9 S7E25)

What You Leave Behind (DS9 S7E25)

July 31, 2019

The Last DS9! Buckle up for a long ride and prepare to say goodbye to your space friends. Does the finale hit all its marks?  Half? Enough to be effective and make you a little emotional at least?

What great shows is this finale closer to than we are now?  Flight of the Concords for instance came out closer to the DS9 finale than we are to FotCs.  The Sopranos is just starting up.  Where were we when DS9 concluded?

Are we sad to see our space friends go? 

Julian breaks up with his boyfriends.   

Does Garak have the most well executed arc of any character throught the course of the show?  What characters were best served? 

What’s the story behind Sisko promising to return eventually?  What other shows show such strong father characters? 

Is the last segment of the show a bummer? What happened there?  Did Avery Brooks send Alaimo to the hospital? 

How bout those matte paintings?  Those space fights hold up better than some other Star Treks’ space fights *cough* Discovery *cough*

What was the point of all of this war?  Did the Borg ruin Star Trek by making it about Big Villains?  Does the Dominion have as strong a core Idea behind them?  Do they have a less compelling argument than Thanos? 

What was the reason the Changelings sent the Odo and the 100 out anyways? 

Smudgin spots.   Obrien’s on a tenure track. 

Do they feel at  all like their not coming back?

That Bajor plot, is peppered in but…

Who’s hangin out at Vic’s?

Is sex grandma the only founder in the quadrant?  Weird how we don’t see the wormholl at all this entire episode.

How much more show could they have fit in if they cut down Vic’s song at the end? 

Is O’briens hurt shoulder a callback?  Why was it the highest priority to get him to sickbay? 

Which scene is just like the Rocketeer?  Remember the Rocketeer? 

Who are the fire cave scenes for?  Give us a call while you can if it’s you. 

How’s Kira in this?  Who’s she working for in this anyway?  Did we need a scene to tell us?   Where’s Willie Mays Sisko? 

Have a laugh at the futility.   Weyoun is pitiful. 

Damar gets a moment. 

We get confused about ranks and Bajor.   

Andrew Robinson always knows what to bring. 

Pour one out for the dead cardies.  80% of liking someone is having a good time.   These captains should smile more.  Garak doesn’t have much to smile about however. 

All the most monumental things happen in the conference room. Treaties signed on paper.  Of course this is from a WWII speech.   

Now that it’s over… back to Vic’s! For a song!  And a Worf bit.    Jadzia only gets one mention all episode, even if she was at the wrap party at Vic’s. 

Sisko fights a balrog.  It’s all about the bum rush.   

Also: One year from Lord of the Rings films. 

Still, it ends without ever seeing the big hole we need. 

It’s a nice closing shot for the show though.

With the episode finished, a little reflection on the show: 

Are we satisfied with the core characters’ conclusions? 

How much of Star Trek is defined by “space friends”? 

Did the show feel Julian was entitled to a woman? 

Worf’s ending is nice, but does it conflict with his position in the movies?   

Why do we think tertiary characters come off so well? 

If this is half baked, is there room for a Grace Cut?   

Everything is theoretically interesting to revisit.  Want to see an 8th season?  Is our answer different (are we different) than 3 years ago? 

You read all the way through this rambling description?  Wow, do you regularly?  You still have a chance to give us a call and let us know. Maybe 917 408 3898

This isn't the final Rules of Acquisition, and Kickers of Elves aren't disappearing completely. Check us out on patreon for plenty of content and follow us for what's next.




The Dogs of War (DS9 S7E24)

The Dogs of War (DS9 S7E24)

July 24, 2019

The end is nigh upon us!  The Ferengi are getting a new Nagus!  The Cardassian rebellion has been crushed! Or has it?  The Alliance Fleet has to make a decision.  

What was Peter Allan Fields contribution?  Nobody’s saying! 

How do we feel about where this leaves some of our characters?  Rom, go on Chapo!  Quark, Sam Malone, and Making Ferengenar Great Again, and Jim from the Office. 

Is the Ferengi story of DS9 topical to our current time?  Does Quark want to roll back Obamacare?  But why talk to long on that when we can talk about the BEST storyline: Dax and Julian? 

Cartoon characters and anime. 

What’s with all the extra stuff in this? Throwing a few favors to the crew in the last days of disco? Is that why it was so dark?  What with the best director of romance in all of DS9? 

Fleamarket jewelry.  Helping folks sell on the convention circuit. 

New ship, who dis?   Fan service.  Is it right to just throw them a new Defiant like that?     

The Terrorist Gang on Cardassia.  Why is that guy names Seskal?   Really? Seskal?  That sound like anything to you?   

Is Mila Garak’s mom or not?   We know “the books” say, but what about the show? 

No mention of Dukat.  All your bases are [destroyed] by us. 

Can you even believe the fake Dominion news?  More topical content! 

The Dominion makes a good point about the timidness of the Federation that is actually proven wrong pretty quickly.  Did this ep seem to secure in the victory? 

Odo takes James and Hugh’s side in last weeks Federation/Section 31 argument. 

Is it an accident when Sisko wears his vest from Pale Moonlight?   How can we reconcile Star Trek with ideals we want it to hold on to?  Back on comparing DS9 to A Few Good Men. 

“I’m pregnant,” male birth control and the best acted scene in the episode.

Missing links aren’t pretty.  How does this penultimate episode hold together thematically? 

Let us know what you think, while there's still time. 917 847 5682

But we're not going away entirely.  Check out the patreon at

Extreme Measures (DS9 S7E23)

Extreme Measures (DS9 S7E23)

July 17, 2019

Miles and Jule’s excellent adventure.

It was the best of Julian, it was the worst of Julian.  Sloan gets  caught! Via exxxtreme measures. Oh, and Odo is dying.

Putting to rest whether Julian is a good physician. 

O’Brien, reduced to a wingman, or something more? 

What imaginitve vistas could have been?  What do the writers dislike about this episode and what does Wade love?  Speaking of love…  Forget about the Cardassian plot, this is all Bashir and Obrien. 

Odo is Scarecrow, or an essence-drained muppet. 

Ok, the “You love me more than your wife” scene… How gay is it? And how appreciated can it really be?  A soupçon of gay panic?  Do LGBT viewers like that scene?  Is it ok to enjoy it? Should marginalized viewers “take what you get”? 

Why do this stuff at all if it’s not indicative of who Miles is as a character?  Can one enjoy this episode while also agreeing that Miles and the rest of the O’Briens are underserved?  How did Colm Meaney feel? 

“Sadey sit sir”  What?!  Star Fleet would never do this. 

Do the writers realize  enough to talk about systems? It’s time to argue more about Section 31!  How much has Section 31 hijacked the franchise?  Is it a cancer corrupting it? Is Section 31 an aberration or baked in to the Federation now?  Even if it is in trek currently, is it baked into the Federation of Trek in 1999? 

Is what Section 31 injected into the Dominion similar to what DS9 injected into the Star Trek mythos?   Is Star Trek redeemable at this point? Should anyone even  bother?  Jeeeeeeeeez man,   what has this podcast turned into? 

William Sadler is pretty great, right?   

President Joe Camel, remember him?  He got mentioned. 

Does Discovery still haunt Wade?  Should we want new Star Trek stories or just new stories?  Another debate!   Look at that tunnel. Follow the light!  The ol’ switcheroo is almost effective.   Should there have been more thematic resonance to Tale of Two Cities?    

Hey, check out the patreon, where there's plenty of additional content for when DS9 is finished:

Tacking Into the Wind (DS9 S7E22)

Tacking Into the Wind (DS9 S7E22)

July 10, 2019

Odo is sick.  The Klingons and the Alliance have a problem.  Empires of all sorts must change or be destroyed.   Have you tacked before? 

Tacking into themes.   

Bobby Moynihan Cardasssian: What’s his actual name?

Oh wait, is this the culmination of the post TNG  plot for the Klingons?   Worf: Avatar of regime change. 

Clicking Clocks and ticking tocks.      

What was Voyager going to do with these characters anyway?   

Does it make sense to withold information from Sisko or not? 

Is this a lesson to why stories are broken differently than they used to be?  How much blame [or praise] goes to one person?   Do old tv writing habits die hard?  Does the momentum start and stop? Can you expect the pinnacle of prestige drama writing from a latex forehead show?  What would a DS9 showrun by Moore have looked like?   What if we watched Babylon 5 back   when we weren’t jaded critical jerks? 

A Frank Oz-ian Odo.  Still the least earned romance?  How about Bashir? 

Three hundred years of Section 31 being hidden, huh?  What was that, Discovery? 

Obrien, at the end, reduced to a wingman.  Quark who? 

James wants a “warts and all” documentary.   

“Do whatever it takes.”  Gowron’s got to go. 

Sex grandma wants to kill everyone.   

DS9: First to  coin the term “thot.” Bye, boy.  What kind of BDSM are cardies into? 

Peter Daou Worf.  The system of empire is broken.  American exceptionalism is over?   Who expected that of Ezri?  Don’t you hate it when Star Trek gets political? 

Imagine if we got Priscilla Presley vorta back?   

Good on making your sex grandma bait work, DS9.   Worf takes off his badge; watch out!    Would this fight have worked better with a more elaborate set?   

Does Wade’s opinion matter at all if he hasn’t watched the Star Wars prequels? 

Mexican standoff with meat grindered Odo.  Remember Ziyal, three Dukats ago?    

Hey, how bout ending on a theme? 

Follow our Patreon, where we follow our bliss.


When It Rains… (DS9 S7E21)

When It Rains… (DS9 S7E21)

July 3, 2019

Dot dot dot.   A lot is poured into this episode.  

Kira joins the faculty at terrorism school, Julian digs up some Section 31 dirt, and more!

Did this episode take interesting concepts and make them tedious?  We’re divided! 

Was there a better way to get Kira into a Starfleet uniform?  We gotta go back to what we said about non agression pacts. 

These shows love to get outsider characters into the uniform. 

Did the writing get backed up in the room again? 

Does this episode at least start getting the pieces in the right place? 

Is just dipping into dark pragmatism a copout if you don’t follow through on the questions?  Hugh gets heated and doesn’t realize how far ahead he’s watched. 

Rehashing Odo points we’ve had since the beginning of the podcast. 

Obrien: Wingman > Family Man 

Secondary thinking and the lack thereof. 

Gowron comes out like Morris Day.  Tying off the greater Klingon soap opera. 

Cup of Goo:  Getting stem cells from Odo.   Remember when stem cells were controversial?  Last week? 

Oh Solbor.  These Winn/Dukat scenes suffer without you. 

John Hughs movie Miles finally calls out Julian for unethical medical practices.   

The 90s had a lot of AIDS allegories.   

Connecting the dots to Julian’s section 31 spy plot. Space House. 

Remember Benjamin Sisko?   Imagine Admiral Mike Star. 

StarFleet values are so impeccable, any breach by a member is unthinkable unless a traitor.   

Assessing how some of our opinions have changed with the times we’re in. 

A new intermittent segment is introduced from the patron discord.

Let us know what you think. 917 408 3898

and check out all the bonus content at the patreon

The Changing Face of Evil (DS9 S7E20)

The Changing Face of Evil (DS9 S7E20)

June 26, 2019

The Dominion War and Books.

Ezri and Worf get home. Earth is attacked. Solbor! Nooo! Oh and something happens to the Defiant.  

The one with all the research.

Arrested developement and juvenile culture.  Tabletop!

Why no Jim and Pam- ing?  Superstore can do it, why can’t DS9 Sam and Diane at all? 

The pepper burning scene?  We’ll give ya that one.   

So everybody still takes the husband’s name in the future, huh?   

Poor ol’ Solbor.  Dukat, Q, and the Great Awakening.  Who is Kost Amojen again?    Hit the books for the evil LSAT.  Should Star Trek stay away from mystical religious stuff?   

Real men also cook.   Kasidy gets a little more dimensionality.  Is Sisko wary of losing another wife?  Is that giving too much credit? 

Angry Nerd Corner:  Doesn’t Colonel Kira have other responsibilties off of a Federation bridge?  What is the status of the Bajoran/Dominion non agression pact? 

Danarys kinda forgot about the Bajoran fleet. 

Can you put pit stains in a Cardassian suit?  Booze sweats? 

Bobby Moynihan Cardassian and chump-ing your way to success, the Damar way. 

End of the first writing chunk of the finale. 

Is the Breen attack on Earth anticlimatic?  What about the Defiant? 

Is Jeffrey Combs the glue holding this arc together? 

Since when do Cardassians not plot?     

Worf as Hitch is… weird. 

Odo? Who’s that?  Marriage changes everything they say. 

Solbor Scooby Doo s Dukat.  Episode MVP!  That’s So Solbor.   Nailed it! 

Louise Fletcher is an Oscar winning actress.  What does she have to work with here? 

Dated FX aside, it feels like a fleet going to battle in a way other Treks don’t always pull off…

How is Sex Grandma like Dr Evil?  Are there too many unforced errors by the Dominion team?

Damar: #Resist.  How little have they showed off Ops over the course of this series? 

Send Breen facts. We're running out of time!  917 408 3898.

Strange Bedfellows (DS9 S7E19)

Strange Bedfellows (DS9 S7E19)

June 19, 2019

Part Three of the final arc!  Ezri/Worf: Still captured.  Dukat/Winn: Trouble brewing.  Sisko/Kasidy: Marriage is war?  Damar's story is getting good.

The episodes run together.   Kai Ratched becomes a satanist.   

Who was giggling while writing this? Understanding mature relationships.  Who’s getting cocky?   

Frank Langella, now there’s a man with chemistry. 

We make some Game of Thrones comparisons. 

Three plots to tangle. Written by committee? 

Damar, we love you. 

How much does this retread earlier episodes’s plots? 

Exploring Worf/Ezri some more.  Any better than Winn/Dukat? 

More on how are we seeing DS9 this watch-through.  Is this trying to hard to not be your father’s Trek? 

We’re going to get some flack for demeaning Star Trek as historically not a character driven show, aren’t we? 

Thot Gor.

Clear and concise storytelling.   

Toxic views of marriage:  What’s good for for Klingons maybe shouldn’t work for humans. 

You really want your lead blessing mothers? Why not something a bit more humanist? 

Why hang upside down?  Best way to puke? 

Seduced AND betrayed?  Worf is a weird Klingon.  Was this compelling for repressed Star Trek fans in the 90s?

All the zoomer  kids LOVE SCTV jokes.   Whom amongst us isn’t a Pee Wee Head. 

Kira, U up?  Nevermind, I ain’t about that.   

We do like some things about the Ezri scenes. 

Odo, Quark, where are you? 

The worst end chapter hook so far? 

We know the Pah Wraiths are bad, but why again? 

Why are they doing so much better with Damar than other characters?   

Anyways, do all the things. For us!

917 408 3898


Til Death Do Us Part (DS9 S7E18)

Til Death Do Us Part (DS9 S7E18)

June 12, 2019

Sisko's space mom doesn't want him getting married. Kai Winn gets a gentleman caller.  Ezri gets a love interest she's barely talked to in any of her featured episodes.  All the plots have romance. Yay?

Dukat has a plan.  What is our least favorite part of this episode?  Is this a Dan Brown novel for Wade?   Is everyone out of position for the end? 

So what is going on with Kai Winn?  How clear is the writing? I’m sure you nerds can tell us.  How can we untangle what we know about this show we saw before? 

Wade drags an actor and feels awful for it, whether they has it coming or not. 

Do Cardassians sleep in their KISS costumes?   Why don’t they spend more Dominion time with Dukat setting up his story?  Wade is frustrated, and switches roles with James. 

A less appealing love story: The Ezri Triangle. 

Has truly NO ONE ever seen a Breen without a mask?  Let’s think back…  BREEN FACTS! 

Dream interpretations are deployed…   to an effect.  Could that effect been been done with… talking?    

What is going on with the romance plots? 

What scenes have Julian and Ezri even had together? 

Was breaking Odo the point of no return?  Shouldn’t he be a bigger player in this by now? 

How did the plot get shuffled around in the room?  What exactly is the religious story saying? 

Is this losing some of the humanism of Star Trek? 

What is Wade’s mutant power? 

Solbor: The best Ranjen.  What’s a ranjen? 

Kai Ratched has a type. 

Let us know what you think!


Penumbra (DS9 S7E17)

Penumbra (DS9 S7E17)

June 5, 2019

It’s the final countdown y’all.  Worf gets lost. Sisko gets some land and also engaged.  Plus there's a war on.

They’ve dabbled with serialization, how does DS9 kick off the longest arc any Star Trek had attempted?  What approach did the writers take to assembling the story? 

What mandates and rules did they have to adhere to? 

Setting aside the rewatch meter. 

What kind of shows have we soured on over the past several years? 

Why does Star Trek keep screwing up romances?  More on that next week. 

How’d these scripts get broken? 

What plotlines are in this ep, and what about other important characters who presumably have a part to play in the endgame? 

How much does “destiny” take the agency from characters? 

Ok. How do Starfleet officers own land? What’s up with that?  How normalized is the Federation now?  Is there still room for luxury gay space communism? 

Did Kasidy get shortchanged this ep? 

Cranberry Sauce and The Simpsons.    

Is Damar the only real dude in this story so far?  Has anyone on Star Trek had a serious addiction?   

Skin shaming. Wade should be ashamed.   

Ezri’s one man show acting. 

Is starting the story circle here at a place of comfort a weird beginning?  D&D doll furniture and diamond rings.   

How mucf of a bummer is Worf/Ezri? 

What just do we know about the Breen? 

Don’t count out Wade’s Seal knowledge. 

Join the patreon! Give us a call! Do all the things!

917 408 3898

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges (DS9 S7E16)

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges (DS9 S7E16)

May 29, 2019

In times of war the law falls silent. WE DO NOT. 

Julian is contacted by Section 31 to run some spy shenanigans at a conference.  We end up discussing more than just this episode, and trying to decipher if DS9 overall is portraying a hard moral philosophy or not.

This is a Jean le Carre story apparently? 

What kind of moral position is Deep Space Nine trying to sell  us?  Three options are posited:  Cold War “Dark Pragmatism”, a sacrifice of one's own moral actions in the service of preserving Federation idealism in trying times, or nothing at all and they’re just making this all up from episode to episode. 

Are Sloan and Ross making the same case that Sisko does “In the Pale Moonlight”?  Does Bashir as the point of view character give us the show writers’ opinion? 

Is moral ambiguity in storytelling overrated?  Is it just putting on “smart face?” 
Have our feelings on the idealism of Star Trek flipped since the time we started the podcast? 

What does the DS9 have to say about ethics? 

Is this show just ISB karaoke?  Even the RDM episodes? 

Is Ross finally “the good admiral,” or does this episode say otherwise?

How many episodes of DS9 even deal with these kinds of moral stories?  Did it all start with ItPM or was it hinted at before?    

Did shows even have thesises that firm in the 90s? 

This episode at least did, right?

How much of the show does this ep make callbacks to?  Where did Ronald D. Moore get the title for this episode, and what does it have to do with Lincoln and Habeas Corpus? 

Cicero and Rome is brought up, but NOT in reference to the Romulans.

Where does the saying “never say die” come from? 

Did Spock’s dad have Tuvan syndrome?  What’s a Rigelian?  Aw man, what kind of Trek podcast are we? 

Oh look, a Voyager.   

And a couple of Bill and Ted alumni.    

Is this at all a Zach Snyder morality?   

Hey, if you have opinions on all this we want to hear them. 917 408 3898


Bada Bing Bada Bang (DS9 S7E15)

Bada Bing Bada Bang (DS9 S7E15)

May 22, 2019

We got holodeck shenanigans. Sisko has good reason to not want to go to not visit the 60s.  We revisit the career of beloved actor Mike Starr.

Waitaminute. Do people not like Vic?  Finally: An episode not based on an old movie, right? 

What was the reason behind the memorable Sisko scene in this?  

The “jack in the box” concept is interesting.  

A TJ Hooker connection!  Spencer for Hire!  

Were the music levels off?  How bout that sinister piano?  

More Mike Starr. Imagine if he were Admiral Ross.  

Who knew “cheech” was spelled “Cicci”?  

Oh Felix.  Worf ain’t here for Vic. A man after James’ own heart.  

1994 was a good year for Mike Starr.  

Is Sisko a bad boyfriend?  Does his widower status affect his relationships?  

Is this a good enough episode for something we don’t care for?  

An emmy for hairstyle.  

How do we feel about Sisko’s stance on romanticizing the 60s?  How can we talk about these things in our modern climate and in the future?  

1999: Mike Starr was in Summer of Sam and West Wing.  

Wade hasn’t seen some movies.  

Who played Zemo?  What did one old movie contribute to cinema maybe?  

Gowron?  Where?  Sy Onara.  

Sisko’s singing.  Where’d that alamo song come from?  

A “fine” Tennessee heritage.

Mike Starr was in Billions just last year.  

Hey, let us know what you think 917 408 3898

and help support the podcast at

Chimera (DS9 S7E14)

Chimera (DS9 S7E14)

May 15, 2019

Odo meets one of his people, and their intimate relationship causes some tension with Kira.

Sex vibes for days. 

For all that creators have acknowledged in the DS9 doc and elsewhere that the show could have done better with LGBTQ issues, is this episode an example of exploring those questions? Or more about marginalized identites in general?  We may not be the best equipped to talk about it, but we’re gonna try. 

What favor did the fx guy do for this episode? 

How much more mileage could they have gotten out of Laas as a reoccurring character instead of Vic? 

Does the shows opinion on “humanoids” differ from what Star Trek usually expouses?  Are we doomed to make “others” out of people by our own DNA? 

Is this the most meaty episode we’ve had in a while?

We stumble into a few Nerd Corners. 

Have we really not met any more of The 100?   

Oh yeah, this is Martok. Who is he impersonating in order to seem condescending?   

Everything is The Link. And sexual. 

Why don’t we do it on the promenade? 

Laas may be a jerk, but he’s not wrong.  Is the science on his side? 

Are the Founders on their way to being classic Star Trek Space Gods? 

Is this an important bridge on Odo’s arc to where he ends the show? 

Does this episode echo important gay stories being told at the time? 

Hate to do it, but we have to talk about alien genitalia.  The Orville gets mentioned.  Go to if you need more. 

Is Quark’s pep talk the advice nobody actually needs to hear from well meaning people?   

Is Laas Larry Kramer? 

Is it weird that the Klingons are pressing charges? 

Good ol’ Cavey. 

Is there a “goof” with the Founder’s disease?  Is there a book that solves things? 

If you can’t goop with me at my solidest… 

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Field of Fire (DS9 S7E13)

Field of Fire (DS9 S7E13)

May 8, 2019

A killer is on the loose, but does it take a killer to catch a - oh this is something we've seen before.

What is the bad part of this episode?  Is there any part of it that isn’t just a take on Silence of the Lambs? 

Did Anthony Hopkins ruin 90s villains with creepy slow talking? 

What does it say when Davey Crocket scenes pop the most?

What’s going on with Vulcans this season?  What’s going on with the writer of this episode? 

On the DL at the Alamo. 

Would  Hector Ilario’s late night be written different post #meToo?

Why use a projectile gun? Does every writer have a pet transporter gimmick?   How ethically dubious are real x ray goggles? 

Nice melon.  Bad safety procedures.

Ezri vs the Chris Evans roles. 

The Rite of Voq Emergence.  The mechanics of talking to former Trills. 

The “Who’s gonna win Ezri” subplot this season: We don’t like it!  Sexualizing vs sexuality. 

Zem Brott and we found Star Trek’s poly relationships! 

Do we really need toxic abusers or is that just for contrived plots? 

Are all these movie homages damaging the show?  Did Babylon 5 find a way to avoid these kinds of problems?  Just HOW Silence of the Lambs did this start? Is there anything else in here? 

Does anyone have the ability to spy on anyone on DS9?    

Was Ezri just a placeholder for the endgame?   

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The Emperor’s New Cloak (DS9 S7E12)

The Emperor’s New Cloak (DS9 S7E12)

May 1, 2019

The Nagus is Missing in the Alternate Universe and Quark and Rom need a cloaking device for the Regent.

It’s the final Mirror Universe episode of Deep Space Nine, and we couldn’t be more upset.   

Two of our favorite things. The Mirror Universe PLUS Ferengi shenanigans! 

Get ready to talk about evil bisexual tropes.   Hugh was right about problems in the mirror U since season its first reappearance in DS9.  Now in Discovery they’re still doing it. 

How many episodes are going to start with “we haven’t heard from X in a while”? 

Did this do some interesting things with Ferengi religion and spirituality? 

Is Quarks horniness more character assassination? 

Which is the best Mirror ep? Aside from the original. Oh sorry, “Alternate.” 

Is this show making fun of its fans?  Does it have senoritus. 

Remember “Vulcan Love Slave”?  Remember all the coworkers’ doubles that Sisko slept with? 

How bout that object work from Max and Armin?  What did it take to carry an invisible object?    

Wait wait wait. Not-Hologram-Vic and Sloth Plisken? 

ISB, Boogie Nights, and Zach Snyder. 

Did The Last Jedi rip off a character from this ep? 

One thing James didn’t hate about this episode: Brunt.

Tugging on ear hairs: Ferengi sex is gross.   

You take care of your Nagus. It’s just what you do: Anarcho Capitalists love for authoritarianism.    

Hey, Andrew Robinson was in this. Why aren’t we seeing more Avery Brooks lately?   Just how intimidating is he?   

Why again, do we want to go to the Mirror -sorry “Alternate”-Universe?  Did it lose the original thread?  Do people want Benny Hill shenanigans?  Get ready for our new podcast! 

What is Kira going to do to the Regent that’s so stimulating?  Thanks Joel Esterhaus, for the 90s obsession with sexy domination.   

James has a second nice thing to say; this time about Nicole DeBoer. 

If they know this is the last season why isn’t the show closing doors? 

Back to sexual politics and harmful tropes. 

Apropos of nothing:  Tilda Swinton is great. 

What do we think about comedy in these things?  Stay tuned for Yakkity Saxuality!   

Let us know what you think! Give us a call or contact us by whatever means you like

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Prodigal Daughter (DS9 S7E11)

Prodigal Daughter (DS9 S7E11)

April 24, 2019

O'Brien is missing from Deep Space Nine, and also from most of this episode.  To find him Ezri must go home to face her family and the ... the toxic effects of capitalism?

The sequel that definitely nobody asked for.   

Not even the writers apparently.   What happened here?  Who is owed an apology? 

Audra Come Home. 

Where does this episode sit next to other season’s low points? 

Is this episode actually a nuanced critique of capitalism?  Wade, your audio is going in the penalty box for that take. 

Do UFP citizens live in a post capitalist society or not?  What is the Federation?  Are not all Trill Federation citizens?  Why would anyone leave it?  Is Ezri’s mom a Ron Paul fan? 

Finally, in season 7 of our multi year podcast, we try to figure out what the Federation of Planets defines itself as.   

Bilby? Ok, but what about this new character? Sorry O’brien. 

Bobo Jessica Lang.  The Godfather?  This is a mess; all hands on deck. 

James misses his friends.  What exactly is this Star Trek again?   What is its thesis?  How is our relationship with the show shifting?    

Is Ezri the new Worf?   

Does Miles have a thicker accent? 

We get some Trill world building.  Is Ezri’s family a Bret Easton Ellis novel?  Did Ezri become the black sheep by joining?  Whoah is her brother a creep. What kind of mediocre brother is her other brother like? 

People who relate to Dax’s pronoun confusion deserve better. 

Imagine if Norvo were like Brenda’s brother on Six Feet Under?   


What was the problem with Bilby’s wife? Was it worth this?   

Follow your passion, or become a sad broken murderer. 

Is it our fault when our brothers get turned into murderers by Capitalism? 

Who doesn’t love a good matte painting?   Make it happen Wes Anderson!   

Has there ever been a good Orion Syndicate episode in all of Trek?  How might that work?   

Apologies again for Wade's poor audio on this one

Let us know what you think!

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It’s Only a Paper Moon (DS9 S7E10)

It’s Only a Paper Moon (DS9 S7E10)

April 17, 2019

Nog has some very understandable issues to deal with.  Maybe we do too?

Is this the best holodeck episode ever?  Is that damning with faint praise?  What makes a holodeck episode anyway? 

Vic Fontaine. Oh Vic. OH  MY, how some people hate you.

How does this episode’s representation of a hologram character exist within the entire Star Trek franchise? 

How long til the show smartens up about the swinging 60s?

What was the original pitch from David Mack way back in season 2? 

Even with Vic disdain, there is a lot that this episode does pretty well.    Aaron Eisenberg for instance, is pretty great in this. 

What if Vic’s club was “Snoop’s” instead? 

What, no space-fentanyl? 

Is Kesha a traditional Bajoran name? 

What video game  is Nog playing? 

Remember when Obrien was the favorite character of the writers?   Or Sisko? Even Garak?  We’re sorry, Keiko. 

That breakdown scene is good, but what do we three idiots know about combat? 

Continuity Corner:  Where did Worf go in the middle of this episode?  Insurrection! 

How would we talk about Vic in an ethics class? Calvinism for holograms. 

Who hasn’t played Animal Crossing?  What kind of gamer are you even? 

Billy Corrigan and the Saddest Kid in the World. 

For all anyone’s quibbles, this is the kind of episode that sets Deep Space Nine apart from other Star Treks.    

For somebody else’s opinion on this episode check out this essay from What a Hell of a Way to Die’s Patreon:

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Covenant (DS9 S7E09)

Covenant (DS9 S7E09)

April 10, 2019

Hey remember how cults were all the rage in the 90s?  

Kira Nerys does.  Should she be more ready to disengage from Dukat's tiresome shenanigans at this point?   

What cult is this? Koresh or Applewhite? 

Say what you will about this, it has a hard target. 

Dipping into a warm bath of cults.  The Jesus Movement vs more repressive religion of the 80s/90s. Heaven’s Gate Aum Shinrinko and Raelians.   

Heaven shopping on the promenade. 

Is Dukat’s arc starting to fray at this point? 

When did Kira’s Sunday school teacher become a Satanist?  How does this tie into Qanon? 

Are these targets too easy? James asks for both sides of the issue. 

How does Dukat resemble a scandal plagued preacher? 

Lord forgive me, I gotta go back to the old me. 

Wade is a dummy who can’t remember Jared Padalecki’s character on Gilmore Girls. 

Cardassian baby facepaint, fake babies, and what’s up with this baby?

Would Kira be less messy and dramatic in a more serialized show? 

How can an intelligent person believe some of this hokum their culty religion is pushing on them when it’s obvious where dat baby came from? 

Some pah wraith world building with Paradise Lost. 

Corman-ing in the airlock. 

The writer bashing you’ve come to expect from the RoA. 

Hey, the title of this episode actually makes pretty good sense. 

Why Fala had to die.  What if HBO made it?     

Are YOU a member of a cult, preferably a sex cult?  Call the hotline!

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The Siege of AR-558 (DS9 S7E08)

The Siege of AR-558 (DS9 S7E08)

April 3, 2019

War is hell.  Sisko and crew get put in the middle of it.

What does the end of History and the 90s have to do with this episode?  WELL WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT.

Salts vs Boots.  Tuco Salamanca!  Will Robinson! Neoliberalism! 

Why was this such a hard episode to get made? 

Is this a facile argument about war in general?  Is the question of whether the war is just or necessary an important one to ask for this story? 

Contrast this to City on the Edge. 

Framing alien species against humans.  Does Quark here epitomize an ideology that we’ve grown beyond?

Hell is for Heroes.  And that ain’t us.  Heinrich Colbe has some cred though.    

Leave Worf out of this one. 

Remember PCU?   

Does this suffer for the lack of Star Trek aspirations?

Is the sermonizing about war is underthought?

Rule 34 again:  War is good for business.

He almost changed the line.  Nicole wasn’t going to beam crouched. 

What songs do the troops play before battle? 

Oh Vic. Some of us hate you.  Star Trek even turned the Beastie Boys into Vic Fontaine.

Is Tuco Vargas?   In praise of technobabble. 

Turns out with an episode this good we have to critique what it says, not how it says it. 

Let us know what you think! 

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Once More Unto the Breach (DS9 S7E07)

Once More Unto the Breach (DS9 S7E07)

March 27, 2019

You guys, Martok HATES Kor.

When Kor shows up at Worf's drunk in the middle of the night and asks him to do a favor so he can die with dignity, what is a bro supposed to do?

Progressive Left vs the old liberals: Worf is Peter Daou. 

This 90s show is all about post Trump politics, right? 

How many people or characters can we compare the cast of this DS9 episode to? 

What are the sexual mores of Klingon culture? 

Klingon military school is like getting into West Point back in olden times. 

We’re still unsure what a Dahar master is. 

The house of Kor, past and present.  Future? Maybe  not. 

Oh, that Dax B plot.  Not our favorite. The questions one gets tired of answering.  What aspects of Dax are the writers retreading? 

Did Jadzia’s non warriors death get expunged? 

How entwined are Kor’s accomplishments and his noble bloodline? 

Klingon Tucker Carlson? 

Peter Daou stories are Worf stories. 

Mean Girls in the cafeteria. 

Oh yeah? Take some Shakespeare, bullies. 

Remember Bobby Bacala?  What if the Sopranos…  no, nevermind. 

That Ronald D. Moore can put a script together, even if it is a basic “blaze of glory” story. 

Martok doesn’t like people eating in his car. 

Wade wrote down a lot of Klingon. Nunek!

What does Armin Shimmerman have to say about Quark this season?  What do we? 

The past was so fraught, we’re scared to just name some characters. 

Klingon Social Security and suicide squads.  We’re going to disrupt dying in battle.    

Let us know what you think by joining the conversation on Patreon!

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Treachery, Faith, and the Great River (DS9 S7E06)

Treachery, Faith, and the Great River (DS9 S7E06)

March 20, 2019

What happens in this episode? [See title of episode]

The final installment  of the Ferengi Pickers Cycle.  Kira’s boyfriend also gets an interesting story! 

Does DS9 actually do faith ok in this episode? 

“Back massages,” huh? 

Do the Ferengi’s crony capitalism superpowers have any place in the Federation?

Is Sisko being a jerk captain here? 

The individuality of clones.  Do we have trouble waiting for a third act turn that didn’t come? Defect; Defective. 

Female Changeling, you look rough. 

Rule 168: Keep it on the DL.  What is Ferengi gay subculture like in a repressive society? 

First set of ears?  Ferengis are gross. 

Vorta creation myths and religion discussed. 

Only a god would ever think to hide by going on silent running.  Wait.  Does Odo need to breathe? 

A pause to throw shade at Discovery and fandom maintenance. 

Vorta’s have an off button.   

Kira [and the writers] have a good take on religion and faith. 

Think they may do even more stories about her boyfriend?  Be nice to Weezer fans, y’all. 

2309: A good vintage for bloodwine.  Ok, let’s talk about capitalism and profit in Nog’s scheming.  What is Ferengi culture’s endpoint?  Some aliens can’t get enough cancer. 

Is DS9 screwing up my luxury gay space communism?   

Could this have been a 5th season episode? 

Let us know what you think! 

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Chrysalis (DS9 S7E05)

Chrysalis (DS9 S7E05)

March 13, 2019

One Flew Back to the Cuckoo's Nest. Do Re OH NO.

Julian brings a patient out of a catatonic state and what's the first thing he does after?  

Julian. Your ethics, man.  Has he learned anything over the seasons?  How toxic is the masculinity?  Are we supposed to be rooting for him or not?  How does Miles feel about Julian’s situation? 

Consent.  Do they have it?  Did Julian seek it hard enough? 

Was there actually a story about the expectations we put on women and the assumptions men make? Or was Wade making things up about this episode and stretching the bounds of what the writing can allow?  Was he overthinking it? Speaking of overthinking:

Is accusing someone of “overthinking” an episode a dead end that negates any discussion or is it possible to harp on one detail too much ?   

Oh boy, we get back into the ethnoship debate.  You thought it was over?  Nobody can escape the ethnoship.  Forget it Jake, they're just better than you.

Have opinions on who's right and who's wrong?  Perhaps you can decide:

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