January 17, 2018
White Album time! Will our choices lead to a fight as bad as those had by the Beatles?
Season 4 complete! Can we narrow down this fantastic 26 episode season of television into a streamlined 12 episode run, similar to more recent "prestige" television? We've done it for every season so far; is season 4 easier or more difficult than we imagined it would be?
What criteria does each of us use? Will vital episodes be cast aside? Will ire be stoked?
Near the end of the podcast we talk about book adaptations and other issues regarding recent television.
In voicemails (48:10), it's a Twiggyflow Trifecta!
Give us a call to let us know what you think and give us your own "White Album" cuts of Star Trek Deep Space Nine.
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And check out A Discovery Home Companion on itunes or check out our Patron only podcast Much A-Dune About Nothing on the Kickers of Elves Patreon. (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
January 10, 2018
Odo Must Suffer! In the season finale Odo suddenly falls ill after Garak tries to play matchmaker, and the only thing to do is to try and find the changeling homeworld.
There's a lot of just hanging out in this episode that is also very consequential to the story of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Sure, Big Things Happen, but the Ops crew still has time to joke about Kira's pregnant sneezing, Miles' being laughed at in his own home, and Garak's time as a murderous gardener.
And being the very much adult and grown up podcast hosts that we are, we spend some time of our own hypothesizing on just what kind of equipment a transformed Odo is packing.
AND A RETURN TO VOICEMAILS (48:28)
On For the Cause and the Maquis:
Greg from North Carolina gives us a call to remind James that he is wrong.
Tom from Cleveland compares the Maquis to petulant children.
Make your own contributions to the show by calling 917 408 3898
And check out our ongoing podcast series Much A-Dune About Nothing by supporting Kickers of Elves on patreon! (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
January 3, 2018
Quark is dying! Of "Dork syndrome"
James hates Ferengi Ebay.
But first, the B plot.
What is Obrien’s hook? Does the Kira pregnancy work in this episode beyond being an interesting fix for a production problem? Just how are things going to develop with the O'briens and Kira?
Back in the A plot, there's some disagreement over whether this is a high quality Ferengi episode. Is this an important point in the Ferengi arc of the series, or an episode where Quark makes a no-brainer decision?
In the end, we stumble into a Nerd Corner
We go long on this one!
Give us your feedback to be featured in a later episode!
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Support us on Patreon for tons of extra content and updates to our Dune miniseries.
December 27, 2017
We interrupt our regular DS9 programming with a special bonus preview of our latest podcast endeavor!
Kickers of Elves will be exploring Frank Herbert's scifi epic, Dune. What makes the world of Arrakis endure for scifi fans? Why is the book such a "white whale" to adapt for filmmakers?
This limited series podcast will begin with the text itself, and progress through multiple "failed" interpretations, from Jodorowsky, to Lynch, to the SiFi miniseries, and finally to what we might expect from Denis Villeneuve, director of Arrival and Blade Runner 2049.
In this short introduction however, we'll address our own personal histories with Arrakis, whether we've previously read the book(s), or never even seen the infamous David Lynch movie.
Hear more of this multi-part series by becoming a "Friend of Sisko" at Patreon.com/kickersofelves
Spoiler: Hugh HATES it.
December 20, 2017
Is Julian Bashir a Good Doctor? We have to contend with a question we’ve asked this entire podcast.
In Dominion space Julian and Dax find some "physiologically different" human-looking humanoids who are suffering from a manufactured disease.
Hugh is not a disease guy.
Was Jen Kirkman, of all people, pregnant in this episode? Certainly not.
Let’s figure out the etymology of “quickening” and what it means in this episode.
Nerd cornering on weather seasons and alien physiologies.
Julian hates hospice.
Where do some of these actors come from?
They Shoot Bashir’s Don’t They?
Just how many Julian reboots are we gonna get?
And James has some remarks on pregnancy…
Kristin from Toronto has some thoughts on Outlander
BuckyWTGoodHair has a few calls about the Mirror Uninverse.
Let us know what YOU think by giving us a call at 917 408 3898
and check out our patreon page to see what you get by supporting us!
Stay tuned for that Dune podcast we mentioned.
December 13, 2017
DS9 done right.
So much is crammed in this episode.
After chasing off some Breen and hanging out in the lunchroom, SH#! gets real at the station when some Jem'Hadar asplode a pylon. No time for mourning though, as everyone minus Bashir and Kira take chase into the gamma quadrant, meet a dream team of 90s B movie actors, and remind us all about that Dominion thing.
Details and worldbuilding abound. Characters get some hangout time while keeping the plot moving. OH, yes, and we finally meet our favorite Voorta [minus Iggy Pop], Weyoun!
Klingons and Jem'Hadar rivalry is stoked. Some TNG callbacks are made. And plot points for the future are left out of the final cut.
"You can't get a time portal without getting a timeshare spiel from a space god."
And some Voicemails! (48:53)
New caller John from Pennsylvania wonders if maybe Lwaxana episodes are more fun for kids. We remark on what we maybe shouldn't revisit from our childhoods.
Warren, 10rant, from Seattle has some questions about why Lwaxana doesn't go to see her flagship living daughter for help, and we get into some costume questions.
Give us a call yourself at 917 408 3898!
And check out our patreon for other content at patreon.com/kickersofelves
December 6, 2017
Badlands and Bad Men. Or are they really bad? Who's bad? You know who's bad. Relationships are strained and even broken when secrets get out.
But first! Wade has a nontraditional perspective on the B plot with Garak and Ziyal.
Sisko and Kasidy hit some bumps in their relationship, even as Jake learns about biscotti.
The morallity and merit of the Maquis are discussed ad nauseum. Are the maquis and the federation a bad breakup? Who’s the good guy here? Does anyone make a good case for Federation separatists in this episode? What does Voyager fail to do with them?
We go long in this one so no voicemails this week, but that doesn't mean we don't want to hear from you!
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And check out (and maybe support) us on patreon for access to out discord server and hours of other audio content.
November 29, 2017
What happened here? Just how did this episode come about? When the widow of your vaunted creator wants to pitch a story, you let her, because you're not a jerk.
Marky Mark, we have words for you.
Space Vampires? Is this… Babylon 5?
We talk about the craft of writing, and how it pertains to the subject and content of this episode.
Masters of the Universe? Oh, yes.
What good CAN we say about this episode? Is this part of a 3 episode Odo arc?
Mellodrama? Oh, how bout we talk about Outlander? That’s supposed to be a good show.
Is this episode about Odo and Kira at all, or is it just a plain ol’ bad episode about Odo and Lwaxana?
But OH, the muse plot!
We're a little distracted. Jake likes older women. He meets one who likes to rub orange cheese out of his brain as he writes books... Oh, we have a few things to say.
In Voicemails! (48:50)
Stefan thinks Kurn should have killed himself.
We get political and talk about the shows we want in dark times, Tim Allen, and Reagan, and... the AIDS crisis? How did we get here?
Give us a call!
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And support what we do at patreon.com/kickersofelves
November 22, 2017
A casual jaunt across dimensions.
Rub a ceiling fan motor and transport yourself to another place...
Jake feels his mom's hands again! Ben Sisko makes some faces!
Is this the worst mirror episode yet, or the the best? Pure dumb fun?
We get the first appearance of Mirror Worf. Is that good enough?
For James, enjoying the Mirror Universe: Like laughing at jokes in pornos.
Topics we move to to talk about other than the mirror universe: Liz Phair. The Office. Mash. Our fav film, Magnolia. The number 47.
Make it so!
In Voicemails! (50:50)
We hear from Twiggy on Rules of Engagement, among other things..
Give us a call so we can hear from you at
917 408 3898
And check out all the extra content we have by supporting us on patreon.
November 15, 2017
Obrien. Must. Suffer. The Hardest.
Star Trek tackled some serious issues, in an era before we were all forced to learn the term PTSD.
But, first don’t you want to hear us argue the difference between implanted memories and a simulation on a scifi future show? Have you missed Nerd Corner?
It’s hard to make jokes about such a serious well done episode!
How bout them healthcare plans in the future?
Jake helps O’Brien with his tools.
Did everyone screw up by not sending Miles back to Ireland?
And what of Roddenberry’s vision? Does this preserve Star Trek’s “evolved humanity” or perfect it?
As we get older… do we have less desire to rewatch upsetting media?
Skipping out on voicemails this week. This episode drained us.
But still, give us a call! 917 408 3898
And support us on patreon, where there might be a few extra minutes of us arguing over simulations vs implants, but also so much more
November 8, 2017
These leftovers taste great with a little O’bay on them!
Is this a run of the mill episode? Have we seen this before?
It’s another episode where we get to explore a character by putting them on trial! And another episode about Worf’s conflict with his Klingon and Federation background.
Featuring Ron Canada, the voice of Gold Peak Ice Tea, as Evil Klingon Lawyer.
And a great final Sisko scene we can’t wait to get to.
In voicemails (56:00) we talk religion!
Tom from Cleveland needs to vent about the Bajorans
Greg from North Carolina also has some thoughts on Bajoran religion
Give us a call and let us know what YOU think!
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Support the show on patreon! (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
November 1, 2017
Bajoran religion, everyone’s favorite type of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode.
BUT… is this the most consequential episode yet for the arc of the series?
Faith (or lack thereof) is discussed!
Fletch's boss comes out of the the wormhole and does Sisko a favor by taking over as the emissary. Kira is surprisingly ok and doesn't question this, til not-quite-Borat starts bringing back the Bajoran caste system and tells her to quit her job and start making birds. This regression into alt-right ideology sets Sisko down a path where he has to confront what it means to be a religious figure, and even buy into it a little bit more.
No time for voicemails this week, but give us a call and let us know what you think!
917 408 3898
And check out our patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves for more content!
October 25, 2017
Power in a Rom!
Rom starts a union! Lefty Propaganda!
We spend a bit at the top knocking out Worf's B plot before diving into Marx, Sean O'Brien, and Rom's tranformation from exploited worker to strong union leader. Putting politics aside, this is also a pretty good story about Rom finding himself when not under the shadow of his brother. The episode that really sets Rom's story in motion, and sets the stage for relationships to come...
What are some our feelings on unions in the real world? We'll get into some of that and what gets us grabbing for our pitchforks, but mostly this is about Rom. "Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains." Oh, and Jeffrey Combs shows up!
And in the feedback segment:
Franklyn from Jax and just what exactly happened to the robot voice lately?
Music: Billy Bragg, "Power in a Union"
And give us your feedback for future segments on the show!
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and check out the patreon (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
October 18, 2017
Woo! Worfs brother! Tony Todd!
...Oh wait this one is a bit of a downer
Worf and Jadzia are busy with some foreplay when Worf's brother Kurn shows up destitute and wanting some Mauk-to'Vor. Being the loving brother that he is, Worf readily agrees to do some murder. Yep this one gets heavy! Relations familial and professional are strained as Worf once again has to decide where his Klingon-ness ends and his Federation beliefs begin. Just how problematic is the third act? Let the arguing over moral principles and relativism begin! And you know we can turn this around to reflect on just what kind of doctor Julian Bashir is.
And we bring back an old favorite from the early days of the podcast: How would we fix this?
We're taking a week off from voicemails this week! Check out A Discovery Home Companion to hear from a few regualr callers, and keep telling us what you think about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine!
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And check out all the bonus material and conversation on Star Trek and more by supporting us at our patreon! patreon.com/kickersofelves
October 11, 2017
Another episode of Everybody Loves Kira!
This time the advances are unwanted. Kira has to go to some conference that her boyfriend convinced her to go to, but a shamed and fallen Dukat shows up to take her aboard his junky spaceship. He gets a taste of the terrorist lifestyle, and Kira has to decide if she's left that all behind her or not (spoilers: she mostly has).
But also! We get the first appearance of Damar! Who doesn't actually do a whole lot cept sit on the bridge and maybe talk to Ziyal off screen a few times.
In Voicemails (1:01:27) Greg has some more thoughts about about Our Man Bashir and we talk what "checklist" episodes we could take or leave.
Give us a call and be featured on the podcast!
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And check out our patreon for more audio content, and where we've recently been having a lot of fun with our patron only discord server
October 4, 2017
We talk ships, but not starships!
Odo has to confront his feelings when Kira's old friend Shakaar shows up and tries something new. No one goes anywhere, no new aliens are confronted, but we have a lot to say about this one. Is it, as Hugh says, "A pretty great episode of television, but not necessarily the best Star Trek"?
Just how great is René Auberjonois? Pretty great.
Just what does one do with an Odo... when in a relationship?
In voicemails (1:04:20)
Both Warren (@10rant) and Adam P. Newton (@dryvetyme) have more to say about the holodeck and Our Man Bashir
We've moved to a new release day to accomodate A Discovery Home Companion. Look for the ROA on Wednesdays while the newest Star Trek show airs!
And give us a call 917 408 3898
or check out the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/kickersofelves
September 25, 2017
We start off with a big announcement!
But in the episode? Red squad did a bad thing. It's not the enemy we have to fear... but ourselves?
In which we learn that, actually, that admiral wasn't to be trusted. An admiral?! In Starfleet?
We learn a lot about maybe how to deal with terrorists and not to let go of our freedoms in exchange for security. Or do we?
Kate has some great feedback on Hippocratic Oath!
And check out the new patreon for the show! Get in on some extra stuff (https://www.patreon.com/kickersofelves)
And give us a call!
917 408 3898
September 18, 2017
Welcome to Earth!
After a terrorist attack, Benjamin, Jake, and Odo get recalled to run Earth Security and hang out in a New Orleans restaurant. That's right, Brock Peters as grandpa Joe Sisko!
Changelings have infiltrated the Federation, Starfleet is perhaps comprimised, and President Joe Camel needs convincing. An episode that is strangely prescient for a tv show before the modern War on Terror.
A lot to cover in this first part of a two episode story. How does a society balance freedom with security? Does this further dismantle Roddenberry's dream? Just what living family members does Ben Sisko actually have?
And in Voicemails! (52:30)
It's all about the holodeck.
FAIR WARNING: We earn that explicit tag in this one.
Twiggy and Kristin from Toronto leave messages on Our Man Bashir, and we go into excruciating detail on holosuite hygiene, technology, and sexual ethics of the future.
Have thoughts of your own? Predictions for Star Trek: Discovery? Let us have em!
917 408 3898
September 11, 2017
Bashir, Julian Bashir.
Definitely not James Bond, if it pleases the court, Your Honor.
It's the Bashir episode you've either been waiting for or dreading! Transporter mishaps and holodeck episodes: Star Trek standbys. The Ops crew has their bodies stuck in Quark's holodeck and their minds bit torrented throught the station. It's up to cheesy superspy Julian and his legit-spy companion Garak to save them. Is there some worldbuilding and, daresay, some character work built into this episode? Well, we have opinions. James comes out and admits his feelings on all James Bond, not just Star Trek parody episodes.
Who is Wade's favorite fascist novelist?
We have LOTS of consideration of the ethics of the holodeck and sex work. "For all your teledildonic needs"
but wait! Hugh… compliments Bashir’s acting?!
BuckyWTgoodHair lets us know why he thinks maybe Rejoined has aged the way it has.
Eric calls, and points out how in Rejoined we reversed engineered an alien villain from a series of shows we never actually saw. Though we did all see the Stargate movie.
Give us a call and let us know what you think! And check out A Discovery Home Companion if you haven't yet!
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September 4, 2017
Treasure of the Klingon Sierra Madre.
We love Kor!
Do we love this episode as much as we were expecting to? Maybe not, but there is stuff to like [again, Kor].
Worf gets to go on an adventure with a Dahar master, because we all know how big a deal that is, right? Like the stories Kor tells in Quarks, maybe the story doesn't quite match up to how we remember it later.
Klingon lore explored! Kinda.
Will this episode have any relevance when Star Trek Discovery launches? Will we reference it on A Discovery Home Companion?
We get mention of the Hurq and Kahless and Molor, but then it all devolves into people yelling in a cave about petty bs. Just how valuable is this ancient batleth? Does it have any special powers? Who knows?! Well, we do. Listen to the podcast to find out just what we think
In voicemails (42:00) we go back in time to revisit the Visitor again.
Stefan from the Netherlands talks about soundtracks, and Tim from Northern California defends technobabble.
Give us a call and vent us your thoughts!
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August 28, 2017
It's all Ferengi, and very little Sisko in this episode where Quark, Rom, and Nog leave Deep Space Nine and go to Earth where they time travel back to the television tropes of the mid to late 20th century.
Nog has a reverse bar mitzvah, giving away old Star Trek costumes, and Quark recieves a ship from his shifty cousin. Shenanigans ensue and we get to hear some Ferengi as it is spoke.
Wade wrote down a lot of Ferengi.
Do we like this episode? Is it a good episode, but perhaps not to everyones tastes?
47:40 We go back to cover some a voicemail from Kristin. More about Jake Sisko, History's Greatest Monster.
Oh, and maybe check out A Discovery Home Companion
917 408 3898
August 25, 2017
Check out our new podcast, A Discovery Home Companion in iTunes!
August 21, 2017
Submarine fight! Farmer Hogget! -er Hanok.
It's a "routine trip" to the gamma quadrant, and we get reminded that it's a dangerous place when the warned of Jem'Hadar finally shows up. James Cromwell guest stars in a bunch of makeup!
It's a pretty good by the books Star Trek episode. The Defiant is under attack, and everybody from DS9 gets paired with a buddy to work on his or her character beats.
@BuckyWTGoodHair calls and talks "Worf NO" and "Hippocratic Oath"
Give us a call at 917 408 3898 and have your voice heard!
August 14, 2017
Love isn't confusing, but Trill are.
Dax's ex life's ex-wife shows up and things get heated.
But first some Magnolia subtweeting and a little more business up front.
Other topics discussed:
Quark doesn’t understand magic tricks.
Is this gay, or just aliens being complicated (hint: it's both)
Trill worldbuilding and rules. Why does the Reassociation taboo make sense? And suddenly we have an idea for an amazing villain species
Trek fans, more conservative than twitter would have you believe?
The most on screen chemistry since we last saw Out of Sight.
Why doesn’t history give this episode its due?
History corner on gay representation in television.
“Everybody brings their personal bull$#!t
We go long, but end with big news for the podcast!
We REALLY want to know what folks think of this episode!
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August 7, 2017
Bajorans, love, and Breen!
Kira gets a phone call, Worf is suspicious, and then Dukat and Kira go off to look for a crashed ship and get to know one another better.
OH and Dukat needs to find someone...
A sidebar for our millenial viewers explaining Victor French, Michael Landon, and Highway to Heaven
Tumblr Takedown: Cardies don’t have tails
Dukat’s uncomfortable justification for how the Cardassians helped Bajor. All the uncomfortable things.
Dax and Bashir and the Coen Brothers?
Comedic bits and camraderie
Sisko deploys his weirdness!
Kate helps us with DS9 books. We talk some Nog comics. What do Eastman and Laird have to do with trek comics? Absolutely nothing.
And closing it out, Twiggy calls and makes Wade further ruminate on his feeble mortality.
Sometimes you’re middle aged, sometimes you’re full twelve year old.
All yelling and complaints (and whatever else you want to say):
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July 31, 2017
Jem'Hadar Junkies! Hugh watched Hippocratic Oath. You won’t believe what happened next! Hugh crawford gives a 10/10 to Julian Bashir! (Enough with the clickbait) What happens when couples fight? Julian and Miles crash on a planet and their relationship is tested. Meanwhile, Worf has some moral questioning and learning of his own to do regarding "shades of gray" on DS9. 55:20- Voicemails and Emails! Eric from PA asks a question about The Visitor that we cut from our podcast on that episode.