From Bashir to Boner Jams: Mail Bag Bonus

May 24, 2018
00:0000:00

High af Sisko to Boner Jams and everything in between: 

Greg takes us way back to Rapture (1:00) 

If you want to understand the Prophets, understand Prince.  

Avery Brooks acting, and… no we don’t think David Lynch is racist. We have no evidence to think David Lynch is a racist.  

Twiggy! and his season 4 white album. (17:30)  

Hugh’s fav David Lynch is Donald Glover…  

Warren on Bashir and headcanon (21:17) 

Trigger Warning: A Discovery Home Companion Interlude (29:25)  

James reflects on Disco after watching The 100.  

Tom serenades James with a Romulan boner jam and discusses "In Purgatory’s Inferno" (38:05) 

Thanks to Deep Space Nine for the Trump administration? 

Konstantya in an email on her own Romulan boner jam (42:20)   

After some more discussion on sexy aliens… 

Kristin! On Eddington’s negative sex appeal (47:20) 

Sexual chemistries. and brothers? What the heck? 

James sees unusual things in Frasier.  

Give us your thoughts and/or alien boner jams!  Bajorans don't count. Maybe we'll allow Orions 
917 408 3898

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Business as Usual (S5E18)

May 23, 2018
00:0000:00

Cousin Gaila comes to bail out Quark by selling weapons and introducing some accented guest stars.

Does this Quark episode take the character anywhere?

Quark and Dax: just like our relationships with our partners.

Ferengi stock market shenanigans.

How can one person keep losing money like this? How can this even be a thing?

Does Star Trek Deep Space Nine have an homage problem?

James is starting to wear thin on status quo Star Trek filler episodes, and a spirited discussion ensues.

Pleasure our ears with your voicemails!

917 408 3898

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A Simple Investigation (S5E17)

May 16, 2018
00:0000:00

Bedroom eyes lead to bedroom milestones for Odo!
Based on The Narrow Margin... of engagement?

Plus: A small Holodeck “hey, we never said James Bond” plot.  
What episode was this again?  
A problem DS9 has that other Treks don’t? 

Odo is over Kira? 
What makes eyes “bedroom” and does Odo really have that? 
The height of Tarantino-ism. 
Let’s talk about LARPing. Different from “creative anachronism”?  

What about furries? (23:40)  

The Deed!  
Return of James’ nipple corner!  
Let’s get to the bottom of changeling/humanoid sex.  

We ruminate on actors, and American History X. 

Voicemails will return at some point. Promise!  
Let us know how you feel, especially if you miss the vm segment.  

917 408 3898  

 

Support the show by telling your friends, or contributing to the Kickers of Elves Patreon! 
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Doctor Bashir, I Presume? (S5E16)

May 9, 2018
00:0000:00

Welcome Voyager’s "Richard [sic] Picardo", and Julian Bashir's parents!

But Bashir… we gots opinions.

Hugh’s issues do not reflect a “rejection of Gene’s vision.” He doesn’t like how it was implemented.

A new kind of Special Man?

“Wholeness”?

A reflection on Bashir not being that great of a doctor.

Bashir’s dad is a revelation.

Leeta and Rom have a B plot though.

Should Leeta just tell Rom how she feels and get it over with since he can’t?  Is the objectification of her in this a little… weird? James explains maybe the source of where he reads his innuendo?

Bashir’s dad the chav.

What are the trekonomics of getting an illegal procedure done "out of network" in a post scarcity Federation?

Ohwaitaminute. Just how dumb was six year old Julian again? Have the writers never met children?

How do we sit with the revelations in this episode after this watching? What about where these revelations lead?

Yet again, we don't have any voicemails this week, but we will get to your calls! We want to hear from you!

917 408 3898

and support the show by telling your friends, or going to patreon.com/kickersofelves for more content!

By Inferno’s Light (S5E15)

May 2, 2018
00:0000:00

Part two of Worf and Garak being awesome.
Dukat: Still a jerk. Right over from the last ep. Is this a new episode or more of a continuation of one long episode. Lets talk about these titles.
Why doesn’t the Dominion kill its prisoners?
Other runabout questions we might not have answers for… yet. Nerds hate plotholes.
Let’s rehash some Ziyal arguments from last episode.

But Worf.

Kitomer re-accords: Where’s president Joe Camel? Odo, also conspicuously absent.
Chekov’s Breen, Romulans, and James has a type.

But Worf. Best of Klingons, even with what he’s learned from the Federation. Even when him and Martok recite a Kanye tweet to praise Garak.

Jem’Hadar and Klingons; White Trash and Donald Trump. Bashir gets a stembolt reference.
The gangs all here, every power in the Alpha Quadrant.

A couple small nerd corners.

Is this a point where the show pivots to being something new?

No voicemails this week either, but we still promise that we will make use of them so send em in!

917 408 3898
let us know about your One Direction fic. 

And check out the Kickers of Elves patreon for all our other assorted opinions

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In Purgatory’s Shadow (S5E14)

April 25, 2018
00:0000:00

The Dominion War approaches! Are we in the best "3 song run" across all the "albums" of DS9?

Is there something different about Bashir? Oh boy, Ziyal: You look different.
Wade and James have wildly different ideas about the nature of Garak and Ziyal’s relationship. The best Worf stuff… ever?Chekov’s Breen. Sisko has an idea for the wormhole Kira doesn’t like, should Dax have had something to say about it?The Dukat we knew all along. Garak and Tain come to terms. Does Wade like this better a childhood story than what we got with Worf?
Not to switch properties, but let’s talk about that Leia costume.
Closing with horrific internet memes.

We get a little ahead and confused about what’s in this episode and the next.
The dangers of explaining a characters past, i.e. the Wolverine Problem.

No voicemails. But we have a proposition re: “hate money” 

Support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves

And give us a call! Seriously we'll get back to your voicemails soon!

917 408 3898

For the Uniform (S5E13)

April 18, 2018
00:0000:00

Sisko tracks Michael Eddington down and Trekkers everywhere were divided.

Our beloved Peter Allen Fields returns!

Sisko is angry!

Who breaks bad in this episode?

The ethics of escalation. 

Oh, the Victor Hugo. Should Star Trek hold their tongue before throwing shade at the writing of female characters?

"Not enough!"

A Civil War reference from James.

No voicemails this week, but stick around til the end for some details on what might get James and Hugh to watch Season 2 of Discovery

"My Favorite Mutiny" by The Coup

Give us a call and let us know your thoughts!

917 408 3898

and check out the kickers of elves Patreon patereon.com/kickersofelves

The Begotten (S5E12)

April 11, 2018
00:0000:00

Son of Odo? 
It's an episode all about parenthood. Odo discovers a little pile of goo and goes through all the feelings a humanoid can feel. Kira gives birth to a son of O'Brien, while her boyfriend gets a little jealous. A and B plot symmetry!  

A tidbit blows our minds and bums us out.

Odo has a bad back- A digression on mattresses.

Bajoran birthing practices… are odd.

GONG.

in Voicemails (45:37)

PlutoBurns is bored by The Ascent.  Were there more interesting stories missed in that story, perhaps a courtroom drama?  Roddenberry rules and storytelling discussed once again. What about Dogma 95?

Give us a call and tell us your own feelings

917 408 3898 

And support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves

The Darkness and the Light (S5E11)

April 4, 2018
00:0000:00

Bryan Fuller makes his Star Trek debut. With a riff on the Agatha Christie novel And Then There Were None, previously titled Ten Little Indians, previously titled something even more Problematic

Kira's friends are being murdered, but by who?
“The Prophets will take care of him”… Will they?
Worf is brings the light fun to the episode for once. He knows many things.
Where’s Shakaar while folks from the Shakaar resistance are being killed?
Sisko ain’t got patience for Worf.
Just how much technical know how does it take to press shirts for Cardassia?
Silence of the Lamb-ing was very fashionable at the time.

Are these the best of the doldrums of any season of DS9 to date?

Voicemails (43:30)

Stefan calls to tell us about an episode near universally derided bye everyone but Hugh and James, and Wade has to reiterate just why he thinks that Worf scene on Risa was so bad.

Have your own Risa or Worf opinions? Give us a call!

917 408 3898

and if you want to support the show and hear our thoughts on other scifi and television, check out the Kickers of Elves patreon 

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Rapture (S5E10)

March 28, 2018
00:0000:00

Sisko gets high. 
Or is that a simplification of a more complicated story and issues? Join us for some arguing about Starfleet's actions when faced with god-aliens.  Sisko is "touched by the prophets" and discovers a secret city, and a lot of actually important stuff arguably happens in this DS9 episode.
New uniforms! Is Bajor finally joining the Federation?
“Optics of the admiral”
Kai Ratched returns and has a turning point of her own.
Oh and Kasidy returns from the clink.

But of course the episode has to end with some classic Star Trek "right to die" questions.

in voicemails (45:07)

John from PA gets us talking about Star Wars without even asking you to contribute to our patreon.

Alex from Minneapolis sets the record straight about Ray Wise's Star Trek appearance.

And somehow we get talking about kratom?

Give us your calls! 

917 408 3898

and check out that patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves

The Ascent (S5E09)

March 21, 2018
00:0000:00

Odd couplings! Odo and Quark crash land on a dump of a planet and nearly die climbing a mountain.

But first Nog returns! We cover the B plot and ask the question: is Jake Sisko the Rory Gilmore of DS9?  

What is Nog doing back? Does Starfleet send away their unwanted cadets?  

James has some rap references to make and TOS references to point out.  

Odo’s porn habits.  Talk to us about Vulcan Love Slave.  

Love and hate. Quark and Odo style.  

But what if Odo had a different kind of story bout being humanoid?  

Voicemails (39:00):  

Kate on "...Nor battle to the strong."  

Tom from Cleveland has some thoughts on "Let He Who is Without Sin..."

Expect more calls about Risa going forward!

Things Past (S5E08)

March 14, 2018
00:0000:00

Terok Nor? James finds it a Terok Bore.  

On the way back from an occupation convention Odo, Sisko, Dax, and Garak all get Quantum Leaped back 9 years to before Odo was chief of security, and Kurtwood Smith held sway.  Things start getting all wibbly wobbledy with the timeline and reality and just what exactly is going on here?  

We're divided on the quality of this one, even if we aver that season 5 is still going strong overall.  

Hold on after the rewatch meter IMDB ratings, where we once again ask the question, "How would we fix this?"  

(47:10) We have the return of your voicemails!  

These are all on Trials and Tribble-ations, and for the sensitive among you, there may have some Discovery talk:

Kristin on Discovery and trials.  
We talk about our formative days watching TAS, the Monkees and Lancelot Link, secret chimp.  Love of the lore and execution.  
Greg from NC has the nerd corner solution to our McCoy scene discussion.  
BuckyWTGoodHair on Disco’s appeal to nostalgia.  
Make the show that you want to see.  

And we end with American Gods, and the kind of thing you may have come to expect from us.  

Send your complaints to:

917 408 3898  

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Let He Who Is Without Sin… (S5E07)

March 7, 2018
00:0000:00

Put on your spandex aerobics outfits. We're going to Risa!

Worf is the worst boyfriend. Why is Dax with him again?

Is this… waitaminute... a good episode?

Bild Lilli horgons. Is Risa a planet of sex workers? Planet Vegas? Without Capitalism? Anarchist Vegas?

Vanessa Williams guest stars as the woman who killed Curzon.

Now. Let us objectify Bashir:  A different bodytype for a different era.

Leeta makes Quark and Julian do a double take (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCOSejS1SSY)

Nog and Ted Cruz’s internet habits.

Gotta be a secure man to be with Dax.

That Worf scene. We have opinions.

Things suddenly get serious, but ok not that serious. 

 

Sorry for the lack of Voicemails again this week. We got way too excited talking about the time Dave Mathews guest starred in an episode of House.  But give us your calls! We promise we want to hear them.

917 408 3898

And support Kickers of Elves on patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves

Trials and Tribble-ations (S5E06)

February 28, 2018
00:0000:00

Gotta go back in time.
No, not to our new Fatty Arbuckle-cast. Back to the Enterprise! The "first" one.
The DS9 crew gets to revisit everyone's favorite era to revist, judging from recent TV and movies. With the magic of developing technology and effects.
Lets get some Discovery thoughts out early.  Except we'll get back to that over and over again.  There's some spoilers if you haven't had some of Star Trek Discovery's obvious surprises spoiled for you.
We reeeally nerd corner the difference between Discovery and Tribble Trouble Fake-Klingons.  
How much do we know about our great grandmothers? Either way, we don’t feel about them the way Bashir does about his.  
Did Emony Dax Harold and Maude McCoy at Ole Miss?
Leaning in to the fan service. Easter Egging vs Embodying.  
Greatest American Hero? Is that our next podcast? [NO]
Who are reboot shows catering to?  
Overall, we enjoyed this "Opposite of the Jake in a hole with a dying man screaming at him" episode.

No voicemails this week, as we really overdid the nerd-cornering in this episode.

We still want to hear from you though! Promise we'll get back to voicemails soon.

917 408 3898

And of course you can always support us on Patreon at Patreon.com/kickersofelves

The Assignment (S5E05)

February 21, 2018
00:0000:00

Oh great. Another body possession trope? Why waitaminute, we loved this one!  
Keiko O'Brien isn't herself, and Miles has to follow instructions lest the ghost possessing her does throws her off a ledge or nosebleeds her to death.  Just how well does this episode turn up the heat to boil the frog that is a stressed out Irishman?
Pah wraiths. Huh. First we’ve heard of those.  
Plust, a B plot that interacts: Rom, the smartest idiot in the room.
Paradise Lost? The Possesion clause in Federation Law. We go long this week so no voicemails.

We still want to hear from you though!

917 408 3898

and support the podcast and all the other podcasts we do by being a patron! patreon.com/kickersofelves

…Nor the Battle to the Strong (S5E04)

February 14, 2018
00:0000:00

Red Badge of Courage on the Western Front.
Jake and Bashir get stuck behind enemy lines and Jake realizes maybe he's not the bravest guy.
This episode hits a lot of our buttons. When exactly did we start enjoying Dax this much? Sisko has some fatherhood scenes; what do the father's on the podcast think? Civil war knowledge gets trotted out.  Vietnam. Lots to cover in this episode!

In voicemails (47:05): 

Season 4 White Albums! From Eric, Stefan, and Adam.

Give us yours, or let us know what you think about DS9

917 408 3898

And to support the show check out the Kickers of Elves Patreon (patreon.com/kickersofelves)

Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places (S5E03)

February 7, 2018
00:0000:00

Lookin for love. A whole lotta love in this one. Of various sorts.

Things that have been building up for many episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine come to a head. Grilka from House of Quark returns. Horniness abounds.

James' favorite B plot. Hugh is uncomfortable. Wade wrote down a lot of Klingon but contains himself.

Farce fulfilled finally.

Science fiction full circle with Cyrano.

Of course we get into certain sexual anatomy questions…

The Sam and Diane Issue.

The return of Voicemails! (59:13)

Paul from Ireland has more thoughts on the Maquis.

The Ship (S5E02)

January 31, 2018
00:0000:00

Stuck on a planet with casualties.
A classic Trek morality play?
It's a return to dealing with the Dominion when Sisko and an away team find a crashed Jem Hadar ship.  A new Vorta emerges.  
Who is Panthro's sister?

Are the best episodes of Deep Space Nine on the station or off of it?

Forgive us for the lack of voicemails this week. Give us call if you're frustrated with us!
917 408 3898

and if you want to support the show and see some of what has kept us so busy check out the kickers of elves Patreon and Much A-Dune About Nothing at patreon.com/kickersofelves

Apocalypse Rising (S5E01)

January 24, 2018
00:0000:00

Season 5 commences!
And the guys gets to play Klingons!  

After the season 4 finale Sisko has to go undercover.  Sisko, Obrien, and Odo get into various degrees of character and Michael Dorn gets to laugh at everyone for experiencing what he gets to deal with every day of shooting.  Which actor got out of this due to a latex allergy? Who was the most miserable, Brooks or Meaney?  How much fun are Martok and Gowron?

Voicemails (46:47)

Eric finds new ways to dislike The Muse that we never even considered.

Bucky likes the Quickening.

And a new listener has us appreciating strong female characters and reminding us how we felt about some of these characters in the 90s before our more recent re-watches. Thanks Poppy! 

Let us know what you think by giving us a call!

917 408 3898

And if you want to support the show -and get access to our Dune podcast Much A-Dune About Nothing- Why not support us on Patreon? patreon.com/kickersofelves

Season 4, The White Album

January 17, 2018
00:0000:00

White Album time!  Will our choices lead to a fight as bad as those had by the Beatles?

Season 4 complete! Can we narrow down this fantastic 26 episode season of television into a streamlined 12 episode run, similar to more recent "prestige" television?  We've done it for every season so far; is season 4 easier or more difficult than we imagined it would be?

What criteria does each of us use? Will vital episodes be cast aside? Will ire be stoked?

Near the end of the podcast we talk about book adaptations and other issues regarding recent television.

In voicemails (48:10), it's a Twiggyflow Trifecta!

Give us a call to let us know what you think and give us your own "White Album" cuts of Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

917 408 3898

And check out A Discovery Home Companion on itunes or check out our Patron only podcast Much A-Dune About Nothing on the Kickers of Elves Patreon. (patreon.com/kickersofelves) 

Broken Link (S4E26)

January 10, 2018
00:0000:00

Odo Must Suffer! In the season finale Odo suddenly falls ill after Garak tries to play matchmaker, and the only thing to do is to try and find the changeling homeworld.

There's a lot of just hanging out in this episode that is also very consequential to the story of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.  Sure, Big Things Happen, but the Ops crew still has time to joke about Kira's pregnant sneezing, Miles' being laughed at in his own home, and Garak's time as a murderous gardener.

And being the very much adult and grown up podcast hosts that we are, we spend some time of our own hypothesizing on just what kind of equipment a transformed Odo is packing.

AND A RETURN TO VOICEMAILS (48:28)

On For the Cause and the Maquis:
Greg from North Carolina gives us a call to remind James that he is wrong.
Tom from Cleveland compares the Maquis to petulant children.

Make your own contributions to the show by calling 917 408 3898

And check out our ongoing podcast series Much A-Dune About Nothing by supporting Kickers of Elves on patreon! (patreon.com/kickersofelves)

Body Parts (S4E25)

January 3, 2018
00:0000:00

Quark is dying! Of "Dork syndrome"
James hates Ferengi Ebay.

But first, the B plot.
What is Obrien’s hook? Does the Kira pregnancy work in this episode beyond being an interesting fix for a production problem? Just how are things going to develop with the O'briens and Kira?

Back in the A plot, there's some disagreement over whether this is a high quality Ferengi episode.  Is this an important point in the Ferengi arc of the series, or an episode where Quark makes a no-brainer decision?

In the end, we stumble into a Nerd Corner

We go long on this one! 

Give us your feedback to be featured in a later episode!

917 408 3898

Support us on Patreon for tons of extra content and updates to our Dune miniseries.

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Much A-Dune About Nothing: An Introduction

December 27, 2017
00:0000:00

We interrupt our regular DS9 programming with a special bonus preview of our latest podcast endeavor!

Kickers of Elves will be exploring Frank Herbert's scifi epic, Dune. What makes the world of Arrakis endure for scifi fans? Why is the book such a "white whale" to adapt for filmmakers?

This limited series podcast will begin with the text itself, and progress through multiple "failed" interpretations, from Jodorowsky, to Lynch, to the SiFi miniseries, and finally to what we might expect from Denis Villeneuve, director of Arrival and Blade Runner 2049.

In this short introduction however, we'll address our own personal histories with Arrakis, whether we've previously read the book(s), or never even seen the infamous David Lynch movie.

Hear more of this multi-part series by becoming a "Friend of Sisko" at Patreon.com/kickersofelves

Spoiler: Hugh HATES it.

The Quickening (S4E24)

December 20, 2017
00:0000:00

Is Julian Bashir a Good Doctor? We have to contend with a question we’ve asked this entire podcast.  
In Dominion space Julian and Dax find some "physiologically different" human-looking humanoids who are suffering from a manufactured disease.
Hugh is not a disease guy. 
Was Jen Kirkman, of all people, pregnant in this episode? Certainly not.  
Let’s figure out the etymology of “quickening” and what it means in this episode. 
Nerd cornering on weather seasons and alien physiologies. 
Julian hates hospice. 
Where do some of these actors come from?

They Shoot Bashir’s Don’t They?  
Deadwood!

Just how many Julian reboots are we gonna get?  
Early mocap.  
And James has some remarks on pregnancy…  

plust more!

Voicmails! (48:44)

Kristin from Toronto has some thoughts on Outlander 
and 
BuckyWTGoodHair has a few calls about the Mirror Uninverse.

Let us know what YOU think by giving us a call at 917 408 3898

and check out our patreon page to see what you get by supporting us!  
Stay tuned for that Dune podcast we mentioned.

patreon.com/kickersofelves

To the Death (S4E23)

December 13, 2017
00:0000:00

DS9 done right.
So much is crammed in this episode.

After chasing off some Breen and hanging out in the lunchroom, SH#! gets real at the station when some Jem'Hadar asplode a pylon.  No time for mourning though, as everyone minus Bashir and Kira take chase into the gamma quadrant, meet a dream team of 90s B movie actors, and remind us all about that Dominion thing.  

Details and worldbuilding abound. Characters get some hangout time while keeping the plot moving. OH, yes, and we finally meet our favorite Voorta [minus Iggy Pop], Weyoun!

Klingons and Jem'Hadar rivalry is stoked. Some TNG callbacks are made. And plot points for the future are left out of the final cut.
"You can't get a time portal without getting a timeshare spiel from a space god."

And some Voicemails! (48:53)

New caller John from Pennsylvania wonders if maybe Lwaxana episodes are more fun for kids.  We remark on what we maybe shouldn't revisit from our childhoods.

Warren, 10rant, from Seattle has some questions about why Lwaxana doesn't go to see her flagship living daughter for help, and we get into some costume questions.

Give us a call yourself at 917 408 3898!

And check out our patreon for other content at patreon.com/kickersofelves

For The Cause (S4E22)

December 6, 2017
00:0000:00

Badlands and Bad Men. Or are they really bad? Who's bad? You know who's bad. Relationships are strained and even broken when secrets get out.

But first! Wade has a nontraditional perspective on the B plot with Garak and Ziyal. 

Sisko and Kasidy hit some bumps in their relationship, even as Jake learns about biscotti.

The morallity and merit of the Maquis are discussed ad nauseum. Are the maquis and the federation a bad breakup? Who’s the good guy here?  Does anyone make a good case for Federation separatists in this episode?  What does Voyager fail to do with them?

We go long in this one so no voicemails this week, but that doesn't mean we don't want to hear from you!

917 408 3898

And check out (and maybe support) us on patreon for access to out discord server and hours of other audio content.

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