April 25, 2018
The Dominion War approaches! Are we in the best "3 song run" across all the "albums" of DS9?
Is there something different about Bashir? Oh boy, Ziyal: You look different.
Wade and James have wildly different ideas about the nature of Garak and Ziyal’s relationship. The best Worf stuff… ever?Chekov’s Breen. Sisko has an idea for the wormhole Kira doesn’t like, should Dax have had something to say about it?The Dukat we knew all along. Garak and Tain come to terms. Does Wade like this better a childhood story than what we got with Worf?
Not to switch properties, but let’s talk about that Leia costume.
Closing with horrific internet memes.
We get a little ahead and confused about what’s in this episode and the next.
The dangers of explaining a characters past, i.e. the Wolverine Problem.
No voicemails. But we have a proposition re: “hate money”
Support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves
And give us a call! Seriously we'll get back to your voicemails soon!
917 408 3898
April 18, 2018
Sisko tracks Michael Eddington down and Trekkers everywhere were divided.
Our beloved Peter Allen Fields returns!
Sisko is angry!
Who breaks bad in this episode?
The ethics of escalation.
Oh, the Victor Hugo. Should Star Trek hold their tongue before throwing shade at the writing of female characters?
A Civil War reference from James.
No voicemails this week, but stick around til the end for some details on what might get James and Hugh to watch Season 2 of Discovery
"My Favorite Mutiny" by The Coup
Give us a call and let us know your thoughts!
917 408 3898
and check out the kickers of elves Patreon patereon.com/kickersofelves
April 11, 2018
Son of Odo?
It's an episode all about parenthood. Odo discovers a little pile of goo and goes through all the feelings a humanoid can feel. Kira gives birth to a son of O'Brien, while her boyfriend gets a little jealous. A and B plot symmetry!
A tidbit blows our minds and bums us out.
Odo has a bad back- A digression on mattresses.
Bajoran birthing practices… are odd.
in Voicemails (45:37)
PlutoBurns is bored by The Ascent. Were there more interesting stories missed in that story, perhaps a courtroom drama? Roddenberry rules and storytelling discussed once again. What about Dogma 95?
Give us a call and tell us your own feelings
917 408 3898
And support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves
April 4, 2018
Bryan Fuller makes his Star Trek debut. With a riff on the Agatha Christie novel And Then There Were None, previously titled Ten Little Indians, previously titled something even more Problematic
Kira's friends are being murdered, but by who?
“The Prophets will take care of him”… Will they?
Worf is brings the light fun to the episode for once. He knows many things.
Where’s Shakaar while folks from the Shakaar resistance are being killed?
Sisko ain’t got patience for Worf.
Just how much technical know how does it take to press shirts for Cardassia?
Silence of the Lamb-ing was very fashionable at the time.
Are these the best of the doldrums of any season of DS9 to date?
Stefan calls to tell us about an episode near universally derided bye everyone but Hugh and James, and Wade has to reiterate just why he thinks that Worf scene on Risa was so bad.
Have your own Risa or Worf opinions? Give us a call!
917 408 3898
and if you want to support the show and hear our thoughts on other scifi and television, check out the Kickers of Elves patreon
March 28, 2018
Sisko gets high.
Or is that a simplification of a more complicated story and issues? Join us for some arguing about Starfleet's actions when faced with god-aliens. Sisko is "touched by the prophets" and discovers a secret city, and a lot of actually important stuff arguably happens in this DS9 episode.
New uniforms! Is Bajor finally joining the Federation?
“Optics of the admiral”
Kai Ratched returns and has a turning point of her own.
Oh and Kasidy returns from the clink.
But of course the episode has to end with some classic Star Trek "right to die" questions.
in voicemails (45:07)
John from PA gets us talking about Star Wars without even asking you to contribute to our patreon.
Alex from Minneapolis sets the record straight about Ray Wise's Star Trek appearance.
And somehow we get talking about kratom?
Give us your calls!
917 408 3898
and check out that patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves
March 21, 2018
Odd couplings! Odo and Quark crash land on a dump of a planet and nearly die climbing a mountain.
But first Nog returns! We cover the B plot and ask the question: is Jake Sisko the Rory Gilmore of DS9?
What is Nog doing back? Does Starfleet send away their unwanted cadets?
James has some rap references to make and TOS references to point out.
Odo’s porn habits. Talk to us about Vulcan Love Slave.
Love and hate. Quark and Odo style.
But what if Odo had a different kind of story bout being humanoid?
Kate on "...Nor battle to the strong."
Tom from Cleveland has some thoughts on "Let He Who is Without Sin..."
Expect more calls about Risa going forward!
March 14, 2018
Terok Nor? James finds it a Terok Bore.
On the way back from an occupation convention Odo, Sisko, Dax, and Garak all get Quantum Leaped back 9 years to before Odo was chief of security, and Kurtwood Smith held sway. Things start getting all wibbly wobbledy with the timeline and reality and just what exactly is going on here?
We're divided on the quality of this one, even if we aver that season 5 is still going strong overall.
Hold on after the rewatch meter IMDB ratings, where we once again ask the question, "How would we fix this?"
(47:10) We have the return of your voicemails!
These are all on Trials and Tribble-ations, and for the sensitive among you, there may have some Discovery talk:
Kristin on Discovery and trials.
We talk about our formative days watching TAS, the Monkees and Lancelot Link, secret chimp. Love of the lore and execution.
Greg from NC has the nerd corner solution to our McCoy scene discussion.
BuckyWTGoodHair on Disco’s appeal to nostalgia.
Make the show that you want to see.
And we end with American Gods, and the kind of thing you may have come to expect from us.
Send your complaints to:
917 408 3898
If you want to support us, check out the Kickers of Elves Patreon
March 7, 2018
Put on your spandex aerobics outfits. We're going to Risa!
Worf is the worst boyfriend. Why is Dax with him again?
Is this… waitaminute... a good episode?
Bild Lilli horgons. Is Risa a planet of sex workers? Planet Vegas? Without Capitalism? Anarchist Vegas?
Vanessa Williams guest stars as the woman who killed Curzon.
Now. Let us objectify Bashir: A different bodytype for a different era.
Leeta makes Quark and Julian do a double take (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCOSejS1SSY)
Nog and Ted Cruz’s internet habits.
Gotta be a secure man to be with Dax.
That Worf scene. We have opinions.
Things suddenly get serious, but ok not that serious.
Sorry for the lack of Voicemails again this week. We got way too excited talking about the time Dave Mathews guest starred in an episode of House. But give us your calls! We promise we want to hear them.
917 408 3898
And support Kickers of Elves on patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves
February 28, 2018
Gotta go back in time.
No, not to our new Fatty Arbuckle-cast. Back to the Enterprise! The "first" one.
The DS9 crew gets to revisit everyone's favorite era to revist, judging from recent TV and movies. With the magic of developing technology and effects.
Lets get some Discovery thoughts out early. Except we'll get back to that over and over again. There's some spoilers if you haven't had some of Star Trek Discovery's obvious surprises spoiled for you.
We reeeally nerd corner the difference between Discovery and Tribble Trouble Fake-Klingons.
How much do we know about our great grandmothers? Either way, we don’t feel about them the way Bashir does about his.
Did Emony Dax Harold and Maude McCoy at Ole Miss?
Leaning in to the fan service. Easter Egging vs Embodying.
Greatest American Hero? Is that our next podcast? [NO]
Who are reboot shows catering to?
Overall, we enjoyed this "Opposite of the Jake in a hole with a dying man screaming at him" episode.
No voicemails this week, as we really overdid the nerd-cornering in this episode.
We still want to hear from you though! Promise we'll get back to voicemails soon.
917 408 3898
And of course you can always support us on Patreon at Patreon.com/kickersofelves
February 21, 2018
Oh great. Another body possession trope? Why waitaminute, we loved this one!
Keiko O'Brien isn't herself, and Miles has to follow instructions lest the ghost possessing her does throws her off a ledge or nosebleeds her to death. Just how well does this episode turn up the heat to boil the frog that is a stressed out Irishman?
Pah wraiths. Huh. First we’ve heard of those.
Plust, a B plot that interacts: Rom, the smartest idiot in the room.
Paradise Lost? The Possesion clause in Federation Law. We go long this week so no voicemails.
We still want to hear from you though!
917 408 3898
and support the podcast and all the other podcasts we do by being a patron! patreon.com/kickersofelves
February 14, 2018
Red Badge of Courage on the Western Front.
Jake and Bashir get stuck behind enemy lines and Jake realizes maybe he's not the bravest guy.
This episode hits a lot of our buttons. When exactly did we start enjoying Dax this much? Sisko has some fatherhood scenes; what do the father's on the podcast think? Civil war knowledge gets trotted out. Vietnam. Lots to cover in this episode!
In voicemails (47:05):
Season 4 White Albums! From Eric, Stefan, and Adam.
Give us yours, or let us know what you think about DS9
917 408 3898
And to support the show check out the Kickers of Elves Patreon (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
February 7, 2018
Lookin for love. A whole lotta love in this one. Of various sorts.
Things that have been building up for many episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine come to a head. Grilka from House of Quark returns. Horniness abounds.
James' favorite B plot. Hugh is uncomfortable. Wade wrote down a lot of Klingon but contains himself.
Farce fulfilled finally.
Science fiction full circle with Cyrano.
Of course we get into certain sexual anatomy questions…
The Sam and Diane Issue.
The return of Voicemails! (59:13)
Paul from Ireland has more thoughts on the Maquis.
January 31, 2018
Stuck on a planet with casualties.
A classic Trek morality play?
It's a return to dealing with the Dominion when Sisko and an away team find a crashed Jem Hadar ship. A new Vorta emerges.
Who is Panthro's sister?
Are the best episodes of Deep Space Nine on the station or off of it?
Forgive us for the lack of voicemails this week. Give us call if you're frustrated with us!
917 408 3898
and if you want to support the show and see some of what has kept us so busy check out the kickers of elves Patreon and Much A-Dune About Nothing at patreon.com/kickersofelves
January 24, 2018
Season 5 commences!
And the guys gets to play Klingons!
After the season 4 finale Sisko has to go undercover. Sisko, Obrien, and Odo get into various degrees of character and Michael Dorn gets to laugh at everyone for experiencing what he gets to deal with every day of shooting. Which actor got out of this due to a latex allergy? Who was the most miserable, Brooks or Meaney? How much fun are Martok and Gowron?
Eric finds new ways to dislike The Muse that we never even considered.
Bucky likes the Quickening.
And a new listener has us appreciating strong female characters and reminding us how we felt about some of these characters in the 90s before our more recent re-watches. Thanks Poppy!
Let us know what you think by giving us a call!
917 408 3898
And if you want to support the show -and get access to our Dune podcast Much A-Dune About Nothing- Why not support us on Patreon? patreon.com/kickersofelves
January 17, 2018
White Album time! Will our choices lead to a fight as bad as those had by the Beatles?
Season 4 complete! Can we narrow down this fantastic 26 episode season of television into a streamlined 12 episode run, similar to more recent "prestige" television? We've done it for every season so far; is season 4 easier or more difficult than we imagined it would be?
What criteria does each of us use? Will vital episodes be cast aside? Will ire be stoked?
Near the end of the podcast we talk about book adaptations and other issues regarding recent television.
In voicemails (48:10), it's a Twiggyflow Trifecta!
Give us a call to let us know what you think and give us your own "White Album" cuts of Star Trek Deep Space Nine.
917 408 3898
And check out A Discovery Home Companion on itunes or check out our Patron only podcast Much A-Dune About Nothing on the Kickers of Elves Patreon. (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
January 10, 2018
Odo Must Suffer! In the season finale Odo suddenly falls ill after Garak tries to play matchmaker, and the only thing to do is to try and find the changeling homeworld.
There's a lot of just hanging out in this episode that is also very consequential to the story of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Sure, Big Things Happen, but the Ops crew still has time to joke about Kira's pregnant sneezing, Miles' being laughed at in his own home, and Garak's time as a murderous gardener.
And being the very much adult and grown up podcast hosts that we are, we spend some time of our own hypothesizing on just what kind of equipment a transformed Odo is packing.
AND A RETURN TO VOICEMAILS (48:28)
On For the Cause and the Maquis:
Greg from North Carolina gives us a call to remind James that he is wrong.
Tom from Cleveland compares the Maquis to petulant children.
Make your own contributions to the show by calling 917 408 3898
And check out our ongoing podcast series Much A-Dune About Nothing by supporting Kickers of Elves on patreon! (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
January 3, 2018
Quark is dying! Of "Dork syndrome"
James hates Ferengi Ebay.
But first, the B plot.
What is Obrien’s hook? Does the Kira pregnancy work in this episode beyond being an interesting fix for a production problem? Just how are things going to develop with the O'briens and Kira?
Back in the A plot, there's some disagreement over whether this is a high quality Ferengi episode. Is this an important point in the Ferengi arc of the series, or an episode where Quark makes a no-brainer decision?
In the end, we stumble into a Nerd Corner
We go long on this one!
Give us your feedback to be featured in a later episode!
917 408 3898
Support us on Patreon for tons of extra content and updates to our Dune miniseries.
December 27, 2017
We interrupt our regular DS9 programming with a special bonus preview of our latest podcast endeavor!
Kickers of Elves will be exploring Frank Herbert's scifi epic, Dune. What makes the world of Arrakis endure for scifi fans? Why is the book such a "white whale" to adapt for filmmakers?
This limited series podcast will begin with the text itself, and progress through multiple "failed" interpretations, from Jodorowsky, to Lynch, to the SiFi miniseries, and finally to what we might expect from Denis Villeneuve, director of Arrival and Blade Runner 2049.
In this short introduction however, we'll address our own personal histories with Arrakis, whether we've previously read the book(s), or never even seen the infamous David Lynch movie.
Hear more of this multi-part series by becoming a "Friend of Sisko" at Patreon.com/kickersofelves
Spoiler: Hugh HATES it.
December 20, 2017
Is Julian Bashir a Good Doctor? We have to contend with a question we’ve asked this entire podcast.
In Dominion space Julian and Dax find some "physiologically different" human-looking humanoids who are suffering from a manufactured disease.
Hugh is not a disease guy.
Was Jen Kirkman, of all people, pregnant in this episode? Certainly not.
Let’s figure out the etymology of “quickening” and what it means in this episode.
Nerd cornering on weather seasons and alien physiologies.
Julian hates hospice.
Where do some of these actors come from?
They Shoot Bashir’s Don’t They?
Just how many Julian reboots are we gonna get?
And James has some remarks on pregnancy…
Kristin from Toronto has some thoughts on Outlander
BuckyWTGoodHair has a few calls about the Mirror Uninverse.
Let us know what YOU think by giving us a call at 917 408 3898
and check out our patreon page to see what you get by supporting us!
Stay tuned for that Dune podcast we mentioned.
December 13, 2017
DS9 done right.
So much is crammed in this episode.
After chasing off some Breen and hanging out in the lunchroom, SH#! gets real at the station when some Jem'Hadar asplode a pylon. No time for mourning though, as everyone minus Bashir and Kira take chase into the gamma quadrant, meet a dream team of 90s B movie actors, and remind us all about that Dominion thing.
Details and worldbuilding abound. Characters get some hangout time while keeping the plot moving. OH, yes, and we finally meet our favorite Voorta [minus Iggy Pop], Weyoun!
Klingons and Jem'Hadar rivalry is stoked. Some TNG callbacks are made. And plot points for the future are left out of the final cut.
"You can't get a time portal without getting a timeshare spiel from a space god."
And some Voicemails! (48:53)
New caller John from Pennsylvania wonders if maybe Lwaxana episodes are more fun for kids. We remark on what we maybe shouldn't revisit from our childhoods.
Warren, 10rant, from Seattle has some questions about why Lwaxana doesn't go to see her flagship living daughter for help, and we get into some costume questions.
Give us a call yourself at 917 408 3898!
And check out our patreon for other content at patreon.com/kickersofelves
December 6, 2017
Badlands and Bad Men. Or are they really bad? Who's bad? You know who's bad. Relationships are strained and even broken when secrets get out.
But first! Wade has a nontraditional perspective on the B plot with Garak and Ziyal.
Sisko and Kasidy hit some bumps in their relationship, even as Jake learns about biscotti.
The morallity and merit of the Maquis are discussed ad nauseum. Are the maquis and the federation a bad breakup? Who’s the good guy here? Does anyone make a good case for Federation separatists in this episode? What does Voyager fail to do with them?
We go long in this one so no voicemails this week, but that doesn't mean we don't want to hear from you!
917 408 3898
And check out (and maybe support) us on patreon for access to out discord server and hours of other audio content.
November 29, 2017
What happened here? Just how did this episode come about? When the widow of your vaunted creator wants to pitch a story, you let her, because you're not a jerk.
Marky Mark, we have words for you.
Space Vampires? Is this… Babylon 5?
We talk about the craft of writing, and how it pertains to the subject and content of this episode.
Masters of the Universe? Oh, yes.
What good CAN we say about this episode? Is this part of a 3 episode Odo arc?
Mellodrama? Oh, how bout we talk about Outlander? That’s supposed to be a good show.
Is this episode about Odo and Kira at all, or is it just a plain ol’ bad episode about Odo and Lwaxana?
But OH, the muse plot!
We're a little distracted. Jake likes older women. He meets one who likes to rub orange cheese out of his brain as he writes books... Oh, we have a few things to say.
In Voicemails! (48:50)
Stefan thinks Kurn should have killed himself.
We get political and talk about the shows we want in dark times, Tim Allen, and Reagan, and... the AIDS crisis? How did we get here?
Give us a call!
917 408 3898
And support what we do at patreon.com/kickersofelves
November 22, 2017
A casual jaunt across dimensions.
Rub a ceiling fan motor and transport yourself to another place...
Jake feels his mom's hands again! Ben Sisko makes some faces!
Is this the worst mirror episode yet, or the the best? Pure dumb fun?
We get the first appearance of Mirror Worf. Is that good enough?
For James, enjoying the Mirror Universe: Like laughing at jokes in pornos.
Topics we move to to talk about other than the mirror universe: Liz Phair. The Office. Mash. Our fav film, Magnolia. The number 47.
Make it so!
In Voicemails! (50:50)
We hear from Twiggy on Rules of Engagement, among other things..
Give us a call so we can hear from you at
917 408 3898
And check out all the extra content we have by supporting us on patreon.
November 15, 2017
Obrien. Must. Suffer. The Hardest.
Star Trek tackled some serious issues, in an era before we were all forced to learn the term PTSD.
But, first don’t you want to hear us argue the difference between implanted memories and a simulation on a scifi future show? Have you missed Nerd Corner?
It’s hard to make jokes about such a serious well done episode!
How bout them healthcare plans in the future?
Jake helps O’Brien with his tools.
Did everyone screw up by not sending Miles back to Ireland?
And what of Roddenberry’s vision? Does this preserve Star Trek’s “evolved humanity” or perfect it?
As we get older… do we have less desire to rewatch upsetting media?
Skipping out on voicemails this week. This episode drained us.
But still, give us a call! 917 408 3898
And support us on patreon, where there might be a few extra minutes of us arguing over simulations vs implants, but also so much more
November 8, 2017
These leftovers taste great with a little O’bay on them!
Is this a run of the mill episode? Have we seen this before?
It’s another episode where we get to explore a character by putting them on trial! And another episode about Worf’s conflict with his Klingon and Federation background.
Featuring Ron Canada, the voice of Gold Peak Ice Tea, as Evil Klingon Lawyer.
And a great final Sisko scene we can’t wait to get to.
In voicemails (56:00) we talk religion!
Tom from Cleveland needs to vent about the Bajorans
Greg from North Carolina also has some thoughts on Bajoran religion
Give us a call and let us know what YOU think!
917 408 3898
Support the show on patreon! (patreon.com/kickersofelves)
November 1, 2017
Bajoran religion, everyone’s favorite type of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode.
BUT… is this the most consequential episode yet for the arc of the series?
Faith (or lack thereof) is discussed!
Fletch's boss comes out of the the wormhole and does Sisko a favor by taking over as the emissary. Kira is surprisingly ok and doesn't question this, til not-quite-Borat starts bringing back the Bajoran caste system and tells her to quit her job and start making birds. This regression into alt-right ideology sets Sisko down a path where he has to confront what it means to be a religious figure, and even buy into it a little bit more.
No time for voicemails this week, but give us a call and let us know what you think!
917 408 3898
And check out our patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves for more content!