Deep dives into art and media. We did five years dissecting Deep Space Nine with The Rules of Acquisition. Star Trek will break your heart. We went all in on David Lynch and broke some of those podcasts. That was fun. Now? Biding our time to see what else breaks. Hopefully not us.
Episodes
Wednesday Sep 05, 2018
Wednesday Sep 05, 2018
Retaking Deep Space Nine! Eventually. Lots of characters to cover in this "second act" episode.
Less yelling about Odo? Are we getting less or more out of our DS9 than we used to? Hey, but we like this. We promise. Is it not as perfect as we thought?
Lets unpack the goo sex.
A new Bashir? Well he doesn’t do much here.
What Western is this based on?
Is that Creed from The Office? No. It is not.
Is Odo being catfished? Should this be a sad exit for Odo? Guess which of us thinks the answer is “yes”?
How did they stumble into getting Rom so right?
Weyoun: Is he of a marginalized people? The Jem Hadar?
Good guy Quark works here. Anyone who says “credit to your race”? He racist.
Ziyal… Oh, Ziyal.
Angry Nerd Corner, Cardassian Language Version: Debunked!
Worf and Martok make a Sorkin play against Gowron. Imagine a 3 ep arc on that instead of a two minute scene.
Was is satisfying to see Kira beat up Damar? Dukat, victim blamer.
Sisko is of Bajor. He will build a house there. He says. Has everyone come to terms with being The Emissary?
Nog changes shirts, graduates, and not even in a cold open.
Tantric 3 day sex, re-explored. And dumb pleas for forgiveness. And baseball. Get a chip clip and lets finish it.
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The robot voice is also really into metal and being moody, apparently. And the band Dagon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc2UcDbHuTc
Wednesday Aug 29, 2018
Wednesday Aug 29, 2018
Get ready for some yelling about Odo.
More of the goings on at Deep Space Nine and other starbases are discussed later.
Yell at us by calling 917 408 3898
Friday Aug 24, 2018
Friday Aug 24, 2018
We said we wanted to hear your Deep Space Nine opinions, and we meant it! Your belated voicemails within:
TWIGGY -Odo doin it
BUCKY with the Good Hair - on Bashir. Pro Empok Nor.
But some of us would rather talk about Risa. So lets talk sexual mores in the 24th century.
State of the Best of Both Worlds challenge? Hugh watched Nanette instead.
TWIGGY AGAIN- Boner jams and Frasier. Twincest heebie jeebies.
Hugh, our resident Jurassic World expert. Crighton Corner!
ADAM P NEWTON/Dryvetyme - Soldiers of Empire is pretty great, right? Thanks Jadzia. Ranks are weird.
ERIC from PA - Children of Time- What if Obrien were written differently? What is the best Star Gate? Roland Emmerich
STEFAN - Empok Bore? Empok Snore? Empok… More?
Would the episode have been better if O’Brien was replaced with Kira?
Fincher Corner!
WHITE ALBUMS!
Dryvetyme- Adam has a fine list.
Tom from Cleveland, in his first white album, cuts it lean!
What do James and Hugh need to watch Discovery? 500/ month on the Patreon and they’ll be forced to!
And finally: Tom from London, in his first voicemail.
Worf’s tragic backstory is rehashed again! Does Tom have the best analysis?
Think our Worf argument gets heated? Check out the Dune Wars of 2017 on the kickers of elves patreon. patreon.com/kickersofelves
And keep the voicemails coming! We want to hear your voices!
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Wednesday Aug 22, 2018
Wednesday Aug 22, 2018
Alexander who? Oh... wait, wasn't he, like, five the last time we saw him?
We have some unusual feelings about this episode.
Rio Grande? Must every Deep Space Nine episode always also be a famous Western?
Sons:
The A Plot. Worf has a failson. Some of the characterization rings true for us, but we can't agree on how much of a mess this story is. Gabrielle Union as Zizek’s daughter? Matt Berry Klingon?
Martok? Well, he is always great.
We Rashoman the third act.
Daughters:
The B Plot. Oh, basically the same Kira plot as last ep, but this time with Ziyal.
What are they doing with Odo? Well, not a lot here. We talk Special Men.
Is Kira wrong in here response to Ziyal at the end? James wants her to have stronger moral clarity. How should we respond to people who’s parents are moral despots? Things get heated.
Before we get to the final ranking, some Strek Trek Damar Trivia.
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Wednesday Aug 15, 2018
Wednesday Aug 15, 2018
Sisko and his crew have crash landed. Again! Jem' Hadar are afoot.
A Sequel to last episode, but also a sequel to The Ship?
Hope y’all like the Big Lebowski, because for some reason, there’s a lot in this.
James didn’t like the pants tearing scene. We’ll come back to that.
Dark matter Nerd Corner.
But about the pants.
What have they done with Garak? Lets compare the Wolverine from “back in my day.”
On DS9… Kira gets Huckabeed. We like the Jake scene.
What DOES Vietnam have to do with anything? Well actually: Something. How might they have done the Vedek event differently? If it were say more “Game of Thrones”?
What have they done with Odo?
For all its strengths, does DS9 ever have all its characters firing on all cylinders?
But wait.
We need to talk about Keevan.
Again, how does this relate to current events? And how do the A and B plots contrast to in their approach to extremity?
How is the Jem Hadar 3rd like some of us?
Let’s all be little Kira’s here.
Let us know what you think!
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And support us on patreon and by doing all the other things every podcast asks you to do (that means tell your friends, review us, etc)!
Go listen to the Clash! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x4JbW6L8BM
The Fargo Season 2 soundtrack is pretty good too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeZ0mC0Iqe8
Wednesday Aug 08, 2018
Wednesday Aug 08, 2018
Welcome back to Deep Space Nine, Season 6!
The Dominion War has been waging for three months, DS9 is occupied by the Dominion, and Sisko and his crew have to undergo a dangerous mission... eventually.
But first: Who is Brandon Tartikoff?
Cool your butts everybody, we all love this episode. Oh, but don’t think we don’t have things to talk about. Bashir, for instance. We disagree. Go figure.
Does this once biting political commentary feel out of place in the times we currently live in? How does it feel to watch DS9 during the Bush years vs the current Hellworld?
Kira and Odo and Dukat and Weyoun. Games are played.
Quark and the Lizard Pigs: What’s a story they could have done? Put heroin in their sandwiches!
There’s always room for rock n roll pedantry.
Oh, and speaking of sandwiches: Admiral Ross!
Hugh has a problem with this episode that’s not this episodes fault.
Serialization: We’ve come a long way, baby.
In this modern TV landscape, let’s take a relaxing break to appreciate the psychological euphoria of The Great British Bake Off.
Oh, and finally the plot in the IMDB description happens.
Let’s talk about chairs. Lean into it.
Good ol’ Charlie Reynolds and the Centaur. What kind of name is “Centaur”? Oh. Let’s talk about that too.
Kira has a #metoo moment. It gets uncomfortable. Are the times intruding on enjoyment of the show? James grapples on air.
Before we wrap up: Does the Federation have Christmas?
Give us a call, check out the Patreon, and do all the things that every other podcast asks you to to!
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Wednesday Aug 01, 2018
Wednesday Aug 01, 2018
Wait, this isn't Star Trek!
Wednesday Jul 25, 2018
Wednesday Jul 25, 2018
BUILDING THE PERFECT WHITE ALBUM
Cutting down a 90s show to the length of modern masterpieces, like The OA[?]…
1st we each go through our White Album for season 5. There is a surprising of overlap, but the differences are divisive.
Laying to rest the problems with “The Worf Scene”
What are the worst episodes of this season?
Which do we disagree the most with IMDB about?
What’s the season’s best episode?
Hugh HATES Eddington.
How would we cast a modern reboot of DS9?
Does Hugh feel any better about Bashir after we finally hit “that one episode”?
Write every season like it’s your last?
Agree with our choices? Disagree? Think that The Worf Scene is as dumb as Wade does?
THEN LET US KNOW!
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Wednesday Jul 18, 2018
Wednesday Jul 18, 2018
The Dominion War is afoot!
It's the Season finale and Wade has been a victim of gaslighting. Five years of Deep Space Nine come to a head and numerous plots are fit into a pretty great episode.
Here are some things discussed:
Mine Angry Nerd Corner 1: Why don’t they build starships out of replicators?
Did Jake screw up? Did he misrepresent his father? Fake News? We have a disagreement.
Sometimes, you just gotta start a war.
Rom: The smartest guy who doesn’t realize it.
Mine Angry Nerd Corner 2: What keeps the mines replicating? The Matter/Energy equalization problem.
Kira and Odo: Do the characters want to put this off as much as we do? Do the writers? Table it. We’ll get to it later.
Garak/Ziyal: All your headcanons valid.
How sociopathic is Garak?
Lets pat ourselves on the back for this wedding speech.
Can’t. Stop. Referencing.
Windows: Pretty democratic.
Lots of wedding talk in this one.
Lots of plots from the show so far addressed. But what about the dog?
James thinks Jake is dumb.
Look at all those ships!
The third Cardassian that we come to know and love: Damar.
Goodbye Robert Hewitt Wolf.
Do you dare take The Best of Both Worlds/Call to Arms Challenge?
Give us a call and let us know what you think!
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Wednesday Jul 11, 2018
Wednesday Jul 11, 2018
Watch out, you soulles minions of orthodoxy. Not all of us liked this well beloved episode.
It's the Crying of Lot 48.
The B plot and the A plot are reversed and we get a sequel to stembolts as big things are happening in the background.
Baseball Corner.
Weyoun: That weird guy at church.
Can Jake and Nog complete all the necessary quests to get their loot and make all the villagers happy?
Bad Company Corner.
Science Nerd Corner.
Beard the lion: An actual phrase!
How does this episoe line up with Joss Whedon, writing-wise and chronologically?
Contribute to the conversation on Patreon, or give us a call and be featured on the podcast!
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Wednesday Jul 04, 2018
Wednesday Jul 04, 2018
A psychotropic drug? We learn of Deep Space Nine's sister station, and Garak goes a little bit crazy.
In the lineage of The Doomsday machine, turn out the lights and you got a new location set.
Horror movie meets Lower Decks. Bryan Fuller sold a second story.
3rd acts are tough.
Obrien: Engineer or soldier? Uh. Engineer, obviously.
Give us a call!
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Wednesday Jun 27, 2018
Wednesday Jun 27, 2018
Eddington returns! For the last time?
The remaining Maquis have done something stupid and so Ben Sisko takes a runabout to the badlands with his best buddy krull.
Does this mean more arguing about the Maquis?
How bout an argument about the inevibility of war and whether or not its right to just go ahead and let a one happen in the right circumstances?
Why wasn’t this episode more about Sisko being able to do something? Is the twist a cheap copout to a more rewarding story or is the twist the rewarding part?
Have thoughts on the Maquis? Want to set us off on an argument that might take up an entire bonus episode?
Give us a call then!
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Support the show as you see fit! Maybe through the kickers of elves patreon if bonus content is what you're looking for
Wednesday Jun 20, 2018
Wednesday Jun 20, 2018
I Have No Children, but I Must Time. Classic Star Trek "Stuck on a planet" problems.
The DS9 crew gets in a time loop and now have to worry about "killing" 8,000 of their descendants.
We have a lot of different ideas for how to blow out and follow some of the ideas in this episode.
Time share “LA Swinger” Odo.
Let’s talk about Odo and Kira, with a small sidebar to Sex and The City.
Poor O’Brien. So many Mollys.
How would this have been if stretched to a mulitple episode arc? If this were a modern TV show how might this have been handled differently?
How do alien genetics and inbreeding work?
Bashir, please don’t do anything untoward with your great great grandaughter.
Where does personhood start when dealing with temporal mechanics?
The Sons of Mogh learn that enemies can be abstract ideas.
Why the reliance on pioneer agricultural civilizations?
Avoiding a pat ending.
IMDB doesn’t like the race stuff.
We go long, so no voicemails this week. Tell your friends about the show!
and give us a call for all your questions and feedback
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We end with some of the fascinating topics we [don't] discuss on the kickers of elves patreon!
Wednesday Jun 13, 2018
Wednesday Jun 13, 2018
Klingon yips. Worf takes a leave to go on a Klingon adventure with his BFF Martok, but Martok has some leftover issues from his two years with the Jem'Hadar.
We all liked this one! What’s ISB’s beef?
Bring on the toxic masculinity! But stay for how much we talk about how great Dax is. But don't be too offended when James calls Bashir names.
Go out of your way to scold Wade for his poor pronunciation, Klingonese speakers.
“General” Martok… how’s that work in a naval structure where you “captain” a ship?
Klingons: Very smart about their dumb violence.
Imagine if a show really went into depth about how diverse all these Klingon houses are? Gee, imagine if that were an actual thing.
No time for voicemails, but give us a call!
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and check out the Kickers of Elves patreon for more content
Wednesday Jun 06, 2018
Wednesday Jun 06, 2018
Moooogie. Gird your Lobes!
Love songs and boner jams. Or not. Scratch that. No Andrea Martin in this one, to Wade's chagrin.
Quark visits his mom, could James explain Ferengi weirdness to his dad?
Has DS9 taken a step backward into Episodic television after pulling off successful serialized arcs?
Bouncing from B to A plot and Rules of Acquisition.
Proverbial “Ear massaging” as a relaxing focus technique as internet speeds are getting faster in the 90s: Is there a correllation?
Is there a point in this episode, that makes this and Important Episode for the Ferengi arc of the series?
James is dubious. Are we making allowances for a syndicated scifi show in the 90s? Probably.
Is this really where Quark starts Urkel-ing the show?
Flaws of the Nielson/sweeps model.
James sees flaws in ISB’s critique of Capitalism.
This episode has some flaws in how the climax is resolved.
“Go back into the closet where you belong?” Just what did they mean by that? (probably nothing)
Pew pew pew - Action figures - The End.
No voicemails this week, but we still want to hear from you!
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Wednesday May 30, 2018
Wednesday May 30, 2018
Tekeny Ghemor shows up again [who?] and Kira goes through some feels. Dad's real and fake die.
James and Hugh have some serious trouble getting on board for this story. He’s not really her dad!
Cardassians are like bulldogs when it comes to syndromes.
Ol’ One Arm makes an appearance in the good ol’ cave set.
WEYOUN! And Dominion corporate culture.
Does Dukat dodge the mug? Is the dress blue or yellow?
Hugh hates scenes where they explain the protagonist’s feelings to them.
Elder abuse!
How fun would this episode be if it were all Weyoun?
James and Hugh have some ideas on what would make this episode better.
Is this episode still stuck in an episodic mindset even if it’s kind of a sequel to Second Skin? Is this episode a transitional fossil from previous eras of television?
Who can get us Wallace Shawn before Chapo Trap House does? Gird your lobes for next week!
Give us a call and let us know what you think about alien boner jams or anything DS9
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Thursday May 24, 2018
Thursday May 24, 2018
High af Sisko to Boner Jams and everything in between:
Greg takes us way back to Rapture (1:00)
If you want to understand the Prophets, understand Prince.
Avery Brooks acting, and… no we don’t think David Lynch is racist. We have no evidence to think David Lynch is a racist.
Twiggy! and his season 4 white album. (17:30)
Hugh’s fav David Lynch is Donald Glover…
Warren on Bashir and headcanon (21:17)
Trigger Warning: A Discovery Home Companion Interlude (29:25)
James reflects on Disco after watching The 100.
Tom serenades James with a Romulan boner jam and discusses "In Purgatory’s Inferno" (38:05)
Thanks to Deep Space Nine for the Trump administration?
Konstantya in an email on her own Romulan boner jam (42:20)
After some more discussion on sexy aliens…
Kristin! On Eddington’s negative sex appeal (47:20)
Sexual chemistries. and brothers? What the heck?
James sees unusual things in Frasier.
Give us your thoughts and/or alien boner jams! Bajorans don't count. Maybe we'll allow Orions
917 408 3898
Support us on Patreon for more non-Star Trek opinions
Wednesday May 23, 2018
Wednesday May 23, 2018
Cousin Gaila comes to bail out Quark by selling weapons and introducing some accented guest stars.
Does this Quark episode take the character anywhere?
Quark and Dax: just like our relationships with our partners.
Ferengi stock market shenanigans.
How can one person keep losing money like this? How can this even be a thing?
Does Star Trek Deep Space Nine have an homage problem?
James is starting to wear thin on status quo Star Trek filler episodes, and a spirited discussion ensues.
Pleasure our ears with your voicemails!
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Wednesday May 16, 2018
Wednesday May 16, 2018
Bedroom eyes lead to bedroom milestones for Odo!
Based on The Narrow Margin... of engagement?
Plus: A small Holodeck “hey, we never said James Bond” plot.
What episode was this again?
A problem DS9 has that other Treks don’t?
Odo is over Kira?
What makes eyes “bedroom” and does Odo really have that?
The height of Tarantino-ism.
Let’s talk about LARPing. Different from “creative anachronism”?
What about furries? (23:40)
The Deed!
Return of James’ nipple corner!
Let’s get to the bottom of changeling/humanoid sex.
We ruminate on actors, and American History X.
Voicemails will return at some point. Promise!
Let us know how you feel, especially if you miss the vm segment.
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Wednesday May 09, 2018
Wednesday May 09, 2018
Welcome Voyager’s "Richard [sic] Picardo", and Julian Bashir's parents!
But Bashir… we gots opinions.
Hugh’s issues do not reflect a “rejection of Gene’s vision.” He doesn’t like how it was implemented.
A new kind of Special Man?
“Wholeness”?
A reflection on Bashir not being that great of a doctor.
Bashir’s dad is a revelation.
Leeta and Rom have a B plot though.
Should Leeta just tell Rom how she feels and get it over with since he can’t? Is the objectification of her in this a little… weird? James explains maybe the source of where he reads his innuendo?
Bashir’s dad the chav.
What are the trekonomics of getting an illegal procedure done "out of network" in a post scarcity Federation?
Ohwaitaminute. Just how dumb was six year old Julian again? Have the writers never met children?
How do we sit with the revelations in this episode after this watching? What about where these revelations lead?
Yet again, we don't have any voicemails this week, but we will get to your calls! We want to hear from you!
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and support the show by telling your friends, or going to patreon.com/kickersofelves for more content!
Wednesday May 02, 2018
Wednesday May 02, 2018
Part two of Worf and Garak being awesome.
Dukat: Still a jerk. Right over from the last ep. Is this a new episode or more of a continuation of one long episode. Lets talk about these titles.
Why doesn’t the Dominion kill its prisoners?
Other runabout questions we might not have answers for… yet. Nerds hate plotholes.
Let’s rehash some Ziyal arguments from last episode.
But Worf.
Kitomer re-accords: Where’s president Joe Camel? Odo, also conspicuously absent.
Chekov’s Breen, Romulans, and James has a type.
But Worf. Best of Klingons, even with what he’s learned from the Federation. Even when him and Martok recite a Kanye tweet to praise Garak.
Jem’Hadar and Klingons; White Trash and Donald Trump. Bashir gets a stembolt reference.
The gangs all here, every power in the Alpha Quadrant.
A couple small nerd corners.
Is this a point where the show pivots to being something new?
No voicemails this week either, but we still promise that we will make use of them so send em in!
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let us know about your One Direction fic.
And check out the Kickers of Elves patreon for all our other assorted opinions
Wednesday Apr 25, 2018
Wednesday Apr 25, 2018
The Dominion War approaches! Are we in the best "3 song run" across all the "albums" of DS9?
Is there something different about Bashir? Oh boy, Ziyal: You look different.
Wade and James have wildly different ideas about the nature of Garak and Ziyal’s relationship. The best Worf stuff… ever?Chekov’s Breen. Sisko has an idea for the wormhole Kira doesn’t like, should Dax have had something to say about it?The Dukat we knew all along. Garak and Tain come to terms. Does Wade like this better a childhood story than what we got with Worf?
Not to switch properties, but let’s talk about that Leia costume.
Closing with horrific internet memes.
We get a little ahead and confused about what’s in this episode and the next.
The dangers of explaining a characters past, i.e. the Wolverine Problem.
No voicemails. But we have a proposition re: “hate money”
Support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves
And give us a call! Seriously we'll get back to your voicemails soon!
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Wednesday Apr 18, 2018
Wednesday Apr 18, 2018
Sisko tracks Michael Eddington down and Trekkers everywhere were divided.
Our beloved Peter Allen Fields returns!
Sisko is angry!
Who breaks bad in this episode?
The ethics of escalation.
Oh, the Victor Hugo. Should Star Trek hold their tongue before throwing shade at the writing of female characters?
"Not enough!"
A Civil War reference from James.
No voicemails this week, but stick around til the end for some details on what might get James and Hugh to watch Season 2 of Discovery
"My Favorite Mutiny" by The Coup
Give us a call and let us know your thoughts!
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Wednesday Apr 11, 2018
Wednesday Apr 11, 2018
Son of Odo?
It's an episode all about parenthood. Odo discovers a little pile of goo and goes through all the feelings a humanoid can feel. Kira gives birth to a son of O'Brien, while her boyfriend gets a little jealous. A and B plot symmetry!
A tidbit blows our minds and bums us out.
Odo has a bad back- A digression on mattresses.
Bajoran birthing practices… are odd.
GONG.
in Voicemails (45:37)
PlutoBurns is bored by The Ascent. Were there more interesting stories missed in that story, perhaps a courtroom drama? Roddenberry rules and storytelling discussed once again. What about Dogma 95?
Give us a call and tell us your own feelings
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Wednesday Apr 04, 2018
Wednesday Apr 04, 2018
Bryan Fuller makes his Star Trek debut. With a riff on the Agatha Christie novel And Then There Were None, previously titled Ten Little Indians, previously titled something even more Problematic
Kira's friends are being murdered, but by who?
“The Prophets will take care of him”… Will they?
Worf is brings the light fun to the episode for once. He knows many things.
Where’s Shakaar while folks from the Shakaar resistance are being killed?
Sisko ain’t got patience for Worf.
Just how much technical know how does it take to press shirts for Cardassia?
Silence of the Lamb-ing was very fashionable at the time.
Are these the best of the doldrums of any season of DS9 to date?
Voicemails (43:30)
Stefan calls to tell us about an episode near universally derided bye everyone but Hugh and James, and Wade has to reiterate just why he thinks that Worf scene on Risa was so bad.
Have your own Risa or Worf opinions? Give us a call!
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Wednesday Mar 28, 2018
Wednesday Mar 28, 2018
Sisko gets high.
Or is that a simplification of a more complicated story and issues? Join us for some arguing about Starfleet's actions when faced with god-aliens. Sisko is "touched by the prophets" and discovers a secret city, and a lot of actually important stuff arguably happens in this DS9 episode.
New uniforms! Is Bajor finally joining the Federation?
“Optics of the admiral”
Kai Ratched returns and has a turning point of her own.
Oh and Kasidy returns from the clink.
But of course the episode has to end with some classic Star Trek "right to die" questions.
in voicemails (45:07)
John from PA gets us talking about Star Wars without even asking you to contribute to our patreon.
Alex from Minneapolis sets the record straight about Ray Wise's Star Trek appearance.
And somehow we get talking about kratom?
Give us your calls!
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